Love, Romance, and Relationship Advice from John Gray

Dear John,
After 10 years, the man I love just walked out my life. He just packed up, left no note, not even a phone call. I came home, and he was gone. None of his friends knew what was going on. A week later, he called to tell me that he went back to Florida to live with his mother. I don't know what to do! I love this man with all my heart. He says he loves me, but that he can't live with me any more. He is thirty- seven. He seemed happy, and he loved his job and our son. Everyone is telling me to wait six months and he'll be back. I want to believe them but he doesn't call or write. What should I do? It's making me sick and our son is just beside himself. Is there any hope forus?
-- Still Waiting, in Connecticut.

Dear Waiting,
The message he needs to hear is that you love him and miss him, and that he should take as much time as he needs to make up his mind about what he wants to do with his life. You may also let him know that his son also misses him, and that his son would appreciate a periodic phone call from him during this time of indecision. It's rare for someone to just walk away from an established relationship, particularly when children are involved.
You don't mention any issues that may have come up that might have motivated him to make such a drastic move. I would suggest that, should he make the decision to give the relationship a second try, you both consider family counseling so that you can clear the air and begin again with a comprehensive understanding of what will make the relationship work for both of you. Good luck.

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