How To Have A Complaint-free Relationship

John Gray

For many men and women, the thought of never having to hear another complaint sounds like heaven. In a complaint-free relationship, love is sure to grow. But complaints are a part of life. To not complain is to hide a part of our authentic self. Sharing complaints is actually not the real problem; it is how you are sharing your complaints about your partner to your partner! A complaint-free relationship does not mean you can never complain; it means you don’t complain about your partner to your partner. You can still complain about other things.

Men and women are sensitive to complaints in different ways. When a man complains to a woman, it often makes the woman more overwhelmed. She will tend to give more in response to his complaints, but will feel overwhelmed and resentful as a result. When a woman complains to a man, it makes the man feel controlled. Eventually, he will stop caring about making her happy and give less to the relationship and to her.

Complaints are a necessary part of life, but we need to upgrade our skills in communicating them so that our partners can hear us in a way that makes them feel supported rather than unappreciated, rejected, criticized, or controlled. Learning to talk so that our partners can hear us is the most important skill in a relationship.

Why Complaining Doesn’t Work

What men and women think they are saying when they complain is often not what their partner hears. For example, when a man complains to his partner, “You are not home enough,” what a woman hears is that she is not being a “nurturing,” “cooperative,” or “loving” partner.

Her reaction is to feel that he doesn’t understand all that she tries to do. What she hears is she has to do more to make him happy. She is also turned off because she feels he is being needy, and to be nurturing, cooperative, and loving she has to give more. In most cases she feels that she is already giving as much as she can, so to give more makes her feel overwhelmed.

Many women have a tendency to feel overwhelmed in these high stress times. In my book, Beyond Mars and Venus, I give many examples of how a man should communicate with his partner to keep the relationship complaint-free.

Here is my favorite: Change the complaints or blame to a positive.

If a man doesn’t like something, he should wait until he is not feeling annoyed or upset and briefly make a request letting her know what he would like from her in the fewest number of words. If the complaint in his mind is, “She is too busy and doesn't spend enough time at home,” then change it to a positive request and say, “Let’s plan to spend more time together. Let me know when you can go over our calendars.”

You could also say something like, “We have been so busy lately. Sometime soon, I’d like to schedule something fun we can do together.” Or you may ask that she just consider a request with a statement like, “Would you think about ways we can spend more time together? I had so much fun when we went for lunch that time.”

If a woman says to a man, “You are not home enough,” it affects him differently than when a woman hears it from a man. It gives the message that he is not giving enough and therefore he is not succeeding in making her happy. She doesn’t realize that, instead of hearing that she loves him and really appreciates being with him, he hears that he is not good enough, that once again he has failed to make her happy.

If she wants him to spend more time at home, then her communication would work much better if she simply said, “Let’s plan to spend more time together. I love being with you. Let me know when you have time to go over our calendars.” Hearing that she loves being with him raises his testosterone and makes him much more willing to sit down and plan some special time together.

A non-demanding request motivates a man best because it gives him the information he needs to give more in a relationship without saying that he has failed her in any way.

A Man’s Greatest Vulnerability

Criticism affects men and women differently, depending on where we are most vulnerable.

A man’s greatest vulnerability has to do with feeling controlled. Even a small complaint or criticism expressed in an emotional tone of unhappiness is kryptonite to a man. Here is a list of complaints, big and small, that will affect a man:
“You are always working.”
“Why can’t you pick up after yourself?”
“You didn’t do what I asked.”
"You ate all the cherries.">br /> “You didn’t call me to let me know you were late.”
“You only think about yourself.”
“You are not listening to me.”
“I don’t feel like you love me anymore.” "You left the light on in the living room again."

Each of these complaints is about his competence, a quality of his male side, so they strike him where he is more vulnerable. Feeling attacked, he will become defensive and to various degrees minimize her message, discount it, complain back, or simply push her away and stop caring about anything she says.

It is often surprising to women which of these are the most offensive. If she links her complaint to emotional unhappiness, then, ironically, the smaller it is, the more annoying it is to a man. If I am two hours late for dinner and I didn’t call, then I can easily understand why she is upset or unhappy with me, but if I left the light on in the living room or I ate all the cherrries, then her complaint is much more annoying.

If a woman links a complaint to emotional unhappiness, then ironically, the smaller it is, the more annoying it is to a man.

If a woman simply comments, without any emotional charge, “You are not around these days, I miss you,” or “Hey, you ate all the cherries, next time save some for me,” then it doesn’t upset him and he is better able to validate and remember her needs or request next time. However, when her complaint is backed with feelings of unhappiness, it affects him negatively.

A man’s male side primarily identifies with feeling successful. As long as he wants to succeed in making her happy, any complaint that is backed up with the emotional charge of her unhappiness pushes his most sensitive buttons. The right or wrong wording has some importance but the message communicated by the tone of her voice and her facial expression have a much greater effect.

When a complaint is expressed in a tone of voice that reveals her unhappiness with him, he will feel controlled. The message he hears is that to make her happy, he “must” spend more time at home or “should” never eat all the cherries. From his point of view, it can sound like a mother scolding a child. Her complaint sounds like a demand that he has do what she says if he is to make her happy.

On the other hand, a non-demanding request frees him to decide on his own to adjust his actions. This supports his independent, assertive, and problem-solving masculine side. Even if he does not fulfill that particular request, he will feel more inclined to support her in other ways.

In a complaint-free relationship, his gradual behavioral adjustments in response to her requests are his gifts of love, rather than obligations. A man will always give more when the message he gets from his partner is that he is already a good and loving partner and that she needs his help.

If a man immediately yields to a woman’s every complaint, either to keep peace or to please her, he gradually begins to lose his sense of confidence and competence when in her presence. He no longer feels like he is making his own decisions but instead becomes overly dependent on her direction or approval.

Most of the time, a woman’s intent in complaining is not to control. However, to be happy, she does want his support. When she recognizes that complaining really doesn’t work, she can then be more motivated to stop complaining and instead wait until she is feeling happy and appreciative of his support. Making requests in small increments and then giving big rewards is the secret of getting more in a relationship.

CLICK HERE to read John Gray's book: Beyond Mars and Venus

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How To Talk To A Man So He Will Listen

John Gray

When I am speaking to an audience, I like to ask them, "How many of you have been divorced?" Most times, more than half of the crowd raises their hands.

Then I say, "Put your hands down if your parents were also divorced." Usually only a few people drop their hands, leaving a large group of people who have been divorced but their parents are still married.

I finally say, "Keep your hands up if you think you have better communication skills than your parents." And the same people keep their hands up. It always creates a chuckle and a question.

If communication skills are everything to making a relationship work, and we know so much more about relationships and communication, why are more and more people experiencing challenges and failed relationships?

The reason is because the communication skills our parents had worked better in their "role mate" relationships, but they don't work very well in the more modern "soul mate" relationships.

This is why I wrote my new book, Beyond Mars and Venus: Relationship Skills for Today's Complex World

As we have grown more conscious of the understanding that every person has a masculine side and a feminine side, it has created a new set of relationship problems. The more modern, soul mate relationship includes a conscious woman and a conscious man who both want to express their true authentic selves.

A woman wants to have the freedom to express her feminine side and her masculine side when she wants and a man wants to express his masculine side and his feminine side when he wants. However, this can often throw a relationship out of balance.

My parents had balance in their relationship because it was the traditional, role mate relationship that had been established for centuries. The rules were already written and expectations had already been established.

My dad's job was to go to work and make enough money so my mom could do what she wanted to do, which was raise a family. She didn't expect anything from my dad except to work hard, have manners and don't get angry with her. He didn't expect anything from her except good meals, a clean house and a smile.

That was the common way of thinking about relationships back then. They were both happy but I don't think that would make many people happy nowadays. People want to be able to express their masculine sides and their feminine sides at different times.

It started in the 1960s, as women started expressing their male side more. Many marched and said "Hey, I am competent, capable and strong too. I can be independent, solve problems and I am not ruled by my emotions." That is great for women to express themselves and stand up for what is right. When your female side has been suppressed for so long, it feels liberating to go over to the masculine side.

However, when a woman goes over to her male side, she needs to be able to come back to her female side to feel balanced in her life. When a woman is too far on her male side for too long, she will feel overwhelmed, stressed, resentful, exhausted and often times depressed. This is because she is not connecting with another part of her. This puts great strain on all of her relationships.

In the case of my mother, she was suppressing her male side. This didn't cause her too much stress because she's a woman and her feminine side was still dominant. But when a woman suppresses her feminine side, she throws off her natural balance by suppressing the hormones that regulate her stress levels. The greatest source of stress for women is when they suppress their female side. The greatest source of stress for men is when men suppress their male side.

Women have the power to return to their female side rather easily by doing one of the things that is more feminine than anything: sharing. When a woman can open up to a man who listens with respect, compassion, and empathy, it produces estrogen and oxytocin, which helps lower her stress levels and brings her back to her feminine side.

Sharing vs. Complaining

When women are stressed or overwhelmed by doing too much, the last thing they think they need to do is share their feelings, unless sharing feelings can solve some problem. But sharing feelings with the intent to solve a problem—for example, to get her partner to change in some way or otherwise take action—is not sharing. Instead, it is complaining. Sharing increases estrogen and lowers a woman’s stress, but complaining increases her testosterone and doesn’t lower her stress.

In counseling, when a woman shares her feelings and complains about her husband with me, it helps to lower her stress and is therapeutic for her because I am simply listening and she is not blaming me for her problems. She is not trying to change me, nor is she expecting me to change in any way. She is sharing her feelings to feel understood as well as to understand her own feelings better.

When she shares the same feelings and complaints with her partner, her intent is not just to be heard. She wants him to change. This makes him feel criticized and defensive or moves him into problem-solver mode.

Only once a woman is fully heard does her stress go down. And then, once she has been heard, if she still needs his help to solve a problem, it is ideal for her to approach him at another time with her heart open, and make a clear request for his support.

Men need to remember that listening is not just the first step in solving a problem. When a woman is stressed, it is also a solution. Without having to “do” anything, he can be the hero.

Women need to remember that complaining to her partner about him never works. By learning to meet her need to be heard by sharing problems that are not about him, she can discover her power to bring out the best in a man. As he listens more without feeling defensive, he automatically becomes more empathetic, compassionate, and motivated to help her. With practice he discovers that without him saying anything or doing anything, she moves from feeling upset to feeling good just by freely sharing her feelings.

Venus Talks

It is challenging at first for women to talk about feelings to their partner without complaining. So I created a process for making it easier. I call it the Venus Talk. A woman I once explained this process to said to me, “If I am not supposed to complain to solve problems or talk about our relationship, then what is there to talk about?”

With practice, there is always plenty to talk about. Women have a world of feelings and emotional reactions that get dismissed or suppressed during the day. To return to her vulnerable, emotional female side, she needs to shine a light inside and express what is there. Unless she takes the time to look, she will not even know these feelings exist. Instead she will just feel stressed, with an urgent list of problems that need to be solved.In my book, Beyond Mars and Venus, I list different examples for how a woman can share her feelings with her partner without making it sound like a complaint about her partner.

The Venus Talk is a specific formula for sharing and not complaining. Its specific purpose is to not solve any problems, but instead to help her return to her female side and him to his male side. There is nothing wrong with a woman discussing and solving problems together with her partner at another time when she is not feeling stressed. And there is nothing wrong with a man sharing their feelings or offering to help solve his partner’s problems when she is wanting his advice.

The Venus Talk is a specific tool to help solve a much bigger and more general problem that looms over our lives: it is done to help the woman come back to her female side and help the man feel greater empathy for her, and help both lower their stress levels.

A Venus Talk is simple, and anyone can learn to do it:

1. She talks, he listens.

2. She shares but does not complain about him. (She only talks about the stress at her job or activities that have nothing to do with him.)

3. He doesn’t try to fix or correct her while she becomes completely transparent about the feelings, thoughts, and emotions that are giving rise to her stress.

4. After a maximum of eight minutes of sharing negative feelings, even if she has more to say, she takes a couple of minutes to share her positive feelings and thank him. Then she goes in for a five-second hug. (In the beginning, when women have been suppressing their female side most of their life, they can only come up with two minutes of sharing. That is fine, but the goal is ten minutes.)

5. After the hug, they don’t talk but instead they immediately take some time apart. This frees him from his urge to offer solutions. It also frees her to notice how good it feels to be heard without interruptions or arguments. Sharing with her partner any thoughts, feelings, emotions, wishes, and wants that she held back from expressing at work for fear of being inappropriate, misunderstood, or rejected will bring her back to her female side. On an emotional level she is getting naked in front of her partner. Not only will she feel more feminine, but he will also feel more masculine.

The easiest way to be completely transparent and share feelings with your partner is to talk about problems that have nothing to do with your partner. This makes it clear you are not expecting him to change in some way or take action to solve the problem you are talking about.

I suggest a five-second hug in step 4 because most of the time, couples will hug but only briefly. By counting to five, it helps a man to remember to relax into the hug. If a woman is shedding a few tears then it should always be at least a five-second hug.

The Venus Talk is simple to describe but can be difficult for a woman to do if she is locked into her male side. Most women on their male side have great difficulty connecting with and then sharing their more vulnerable feelings. Men may also find it difficult because most men have difficulty listening with empathy to a woman’s feelings and not interrupting with solutions. If a woman cooperates by opening up and sharing her feelings while her partner only listens, he will return to his male side and she will return to her female side. Most people do not realize that silently listening brings a man back to his male side, while sharing feelings brings a woman back to her female side.

But it is nearly impossible for a man to give this new kind of support if a woman does not recognize that she needs his help to return to her female side. If she is not willing to cooperate, he is powerless to help her. Listening to a woman’s feelings will only work for a man if a woman’s feelings of stress, frustration, and disappointment are about her day at work and not about him. If she complains about him in any way, it will just shut him down.

The research is very clear on this point: when men feel successful, their testosterone levels go up. For example, when a man watches a sporting event, his testosterone rises if his team wins; if they lose it falls. Likewise, when a woman appreciates a man’s support, his testosterone goes up.

When a woman is more on her male side, she and her partner must both understand the reasoning for as well as the importance of sharing in a Venus Talk. Without this new insight, a busy woman will resist talking because she has too much to do. Her partner will resist listening because he will want to return to his cave.

In a Venus Talk, a man can listen without interrupting with solutions because he clearly understands that by listening and not offering solutions, he is solving her most important problem: she needs his help to return to her female side. Although he is not actively doing something for her by silently listening, he is actually providing the solution she needs most.

By doing something in a short amount of time that actually works to make his partner happier, even before returning to his cave, a man’s sense of success will begin to increase his testosterone. And because he feels more appreciated by her, his need for cave time to rebuild his testosterone will be less.

These insights have worked for thousands of men and women and they can work for you. By understanding our new male and female needs based on our hormonal differences, men can learn to be more supportive of women as well as awaken her feelings of romantic attraction. Likewise, women can apply their new skills to open their partner’s heart and sustain his attraction to her. When a man can sustain higher testosterone levels, at least ten times more than his partners’, and a woman can sustain higher estrogen levels, at least ten time more than her partner’s, these differences create the attraction that can sustain a lifetime of passion.

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How Minerals Determine Your Quality Of Life

John Gray

What Are Minerals?

Our world is made of minerals. Scientists believe they were formed billions of years ago as the earth changed from clouds of gases into a solid planet.

Life on our planet comes from a small number of chemical elements. Some of the most important ones are calcium, magnesium, sodium, sulfur, phosphorus and potassium. These are also sometimes called electrolytes.

There also minerals that are needed in smaller amounts. We call these trace minerals and they include iron, zinc, chromium, selenium, boron and lithium.

Minerals are essential for life. They also determine your quality of life. If you are low in a certain mineral, you can feel sick, sluggish and distracted all the time.

Unlike many vitamins, minerals are not made within our bodies. We must include enough minerals in our daily diets to feel their benefits. However, even if you only eat the most nutritious, organic foods, it does not guarantee you will get an adequate supply of minerals. Our foods just don't hold enough mineral content due to modern farming practices and environmental toxins.

The minerals in your food come from the soil in which the food is grown. Almost all our food, even organic food, is deficient in minerals for several reasons:

1. Modern agricultural methods have reduced the minerals in the soil without replenishing them. Most modern fertilizers do not contain all of the natural minerals found in our soils and few contain any of the trace minerals.

2. Most crops are grown for higher yields, better taste or appearance, hardiness or bug resistance. However, they are rarely bred for a higher mineral content. High-yield crops produce much more food per acre, but the food is much lower in minerals because the amount of minerals in the soil is the same yet the yield is much greater.

3. Pesticides, insecticides and toxic sprays interfere with microorganisms in the soil that are needed for mineral production. This can significantly reduce the amount of minerals available to the crops. Organically produced crops tend to have more minerals in them in part for this reason.

Minerals And Your Body

The brain is only 2% of your body weight, but it uses 25% of your energy. Your brain needs energy and fuel to be at its peak performance. Minerals are fuel for the brain. The minerals needed for optimum brain function include calcium, magnesium and zinc, as well as trace minerals, such as chromium, lithium and boron.

Calcium is found mainly in your bones, but it is also important for blood clotting and regulating your hormones. Even more, calcium helps the cell membranes that control nerve impulses and muscle contractions. Good food sources are dairy products such as cheese and yogurt

Magnesium is required for over 500 enzymes that help regulate sugar metabolism, energy production, cell membranes, and muscle and nerve conductions. When you are low in magnesium, you may experience muscle cramps, weakness, depression and fatigue. Foods high in magnesium include milk, almonds, brazil nuts, cashews, whole soybeans (but not tofu, tempeh or soy protein), wheat bran, whole grains, green vegetables, seafood, kelp and molasses.

Though needed in small amounts, trace minerals are absolutely essential for life. They include iron, copper, manganese, zinc, chromium, selenium, lithium, cobalt, silicon, and boron.

Zinc is more essential for men than for women in some ways, although it is certainly essential for women as well. Zinc is required for hundreds of enzymes in the human body, including your sense of taste and smell, vision, growth, sexual development, male potency, prostate health, blood sugar regulation and processing of alcohol. Zinc is very important for the joints and the skin.

Zinc helps prevent diabetes, ADHD, epilepsy and helps detoxify heavy metals in the body. It can also have a calming effect on the body.

Refined food is very low in zinc and there are very few excellent sources of zinc today. Among the best are red meats, organ meats and some seafood, but most is too high in toxic metals. Other sources that are not quite as good are poultry such as chicken and turkey, eggs, oatmeal, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, wheat germ and colostrum. Vegetarians run a risk of zinc deficiency because they avoid red meats, in most cases.

Chromium deficiency is very common, especially in middle-aged and older people. Chromium is a blood sugar mineral because it is essential for insulin metabolism. It can also help lower cholesterol. Food sources of chromium are liver, kidney, beef, whole wheat bread, wheat germ, beets, mushrooms and beer. Unfortunately, most of these foods are not the healthiest choices to eat every day. So chromium supplements are crucial to make sure you get enough each day.

Lithium has a calming effect on the brain and the entire nervous system. Anyone who is taking an anti-depressant or any brain-altering drug, or is suffering from any brain-related problem may benefit from a natural lithium supplement such as lithium orotate. The lithium that is often used for bipolar disorder is quite toxic and should be avoided if possible. Lithium orotate is far less toxic and better absorbed.

Boron has been called the plant mineral because it is even more essential for plants than humans. Boron can help maintain female hormone production and bone integrity. Boron is found in many foods, although supplements with born can greatly help with hot flashes.

What To Do

Eat Right
Try to use sea salt, rather than regular table salt. Most of the minerals are refined out of common table salt, but sea salt still includes trace minerals.

Eat mineral-rich, organic vegetables, especially root vegetables. Whole organic grains, nuts and seeds, fish and good quality meats are other good sources of minerals. Fruits are not as good sources, as they are mainly water, fiber and sugars.

Cooked food is actually much better for obtaining minerals than raw food. This is because cooking helps break down the fiber in food and releases the minerals.

Good quality spring or mineral waters can be excellent sources of trace minerals. Tap water contains minerals, but almost all of it contains many harmful chemicals as well, and is best avoided.

Reduce Stress
Stress causes our bodies to use more minerals. Zinc is eliminated within minutes of a stressful situation. Calcium and magnesium are eliminated in the urine as part of the fight-or-flight reaction. Simplifying your life, slowing down and reducing stress are most important to maintain healthy mineral levels.

Natural Supplements
Besides eating good foods and reducing the stress in your life, taking nutritional supplements like my Mars Venus Super Minerals for Men and Women is a good way to rebuild and maintain your body’s vital minerals.


The statements and products referred to throughout this site have not been evaluated by the FDA. They are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. They are the expressed opinion of John Gray for the sole purpose of educating the public regarding their health, happiness and improved quality of relationships. Individual results may vary. Seek the advice of a competent health care professional for your specific health concerns.


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Tongkat Ali Helps Boost Testosterone Naturally

John Gray

The candles are lit and some romantic music is playing, but instead of fireworks in the bedroom, you find frustration. And it’s not because of the music. When couples experience a lack of libido or sexual dysfunction in the bedroom, it can create a tremendous amount of stress in an otherwise healthy relationship.

Some men between the ages of 40 and 55 can begin to have trouble getting an erection when the moment is otherwise perfect. This is a sign of declining testosterone levels. Healthy men will usually experience a 1% drop in testosterone every year starting around age 40. An estimated 40% of men age 45 and older have testosterone deficiency (total testosterone below 300 ng/dL.).

Testosterone helps to build protein and is essential for normal sexual behavior. Testosterone stimulates metabolism, which promotes fat burning, and accelerates muscle growth. Testosterone also affects the production of blood cells, bone growth, liver function and prostate gland growth.

Low testosterone levels have been closely linked to many severe health conditions, like heart disease, obesity, diabetes, hypertension and stroke. As with most life-threatening health conditions, the symptoms are often smaller in the beginning. As testosterone begins declining, it can trigger several quality of life issues like increased fatigue, irritability, depression, lack of focus, poor memory, reduced muscle mass and strength, more body fat and, often the most troubling for men, a loss of libido and fewer spontaneous erections.

Sex Over 40

Your sex life does not stop at 40. The drive is still there. You just need the right fuel.

Men are often prescribed medications that treat erectile dysfunction. The most popular medications, like Cialis (tadalafil) and Viagra (sildenafil), increase blood flow to the penis to help it grow into a healthy erection. And they work.

Unfortunately the side effects can be severe for those moments of pleasure. (Contact your doctor if you experience a moment of pleasure lasting longer than four hours.) The more common side effects of Cialis are heartburn, indigestion, belching and stomach discomfort. Viagra comes with the common side effects of diarrhea, headaches, and muscle pain. Although they never specify which muscle.

Fortunately, there are natural alternatives that can be just as helpful without these side effects.

Since the root of the problem for most men is low testosterone, I encourage men to make small changes to their lives that can help maintain and build their testosterone levels. My favorite thing actually comes from a root of a plant. It’s called Tongkat Ali.

What Is Tongkat Ali?

Eurycoma Longifolia Jack is a tall shrub tree which is found in the lush rain forests of Malaysia and some parts of Thailand. The most common name of the shrub is Tongkat Ali, which translates to “Ali’s Walking Stick,” but it is also called Pasak Bumi or Long Jack.

The roots of the plant hold the power. They have been prescribed for centuries in Malaysia and Thailand for energy, strength and stamina, as well as to boost libido and sexual virility in older men.

Tongkat Ali helps increase testosterone in the blood. It is not a testosterone replacement, nor does is directly increase testosterone. Instead it activates the body’s ability to make testosterone to help give you more physical energy and sexual desire when you need it.

Other products that either replace or stimulate high levels of testosterone have all kinds of side effects. When people use testosterone creams or take hormones to boost their testosterone levels, it can cause their bodies to produce less natural testosterone and eventually none at all. Testosterone replacements can also boost your testosterone levels higher than you may need. As a consequence, excess testosterone turns into estrogen, which can turn into belly fat.

Beyond The Bedroom

Tongkat Ali has gained interest among athletes and people who exercise too. Research has shown that eurycoma longifolia increases energy production in the body by increasing ATP (Adenosine triphosphate).

ATP is responsible for nearly all the energy production in the body. During heavy exercise, we can use up our ATP faster than we can replace it, so we become fatigued. By increasing ATP, overall energy and vitality are increased. Studies on humans show that Tongkat Ali supplements increase ATP by creating a favorable anabolic state (building up), while suppressing the catabolic state (breaking down) of muscles.

Safe and Effective

Tongkat Ali has a distinctively bitter taste in its purest, rawest form. Tongkat Ali extracts that do not taste bitter are either not authentic Tongkat Ali root or are not very potent and will most likely not be very effective. There are many commercial examples of “fake” Tongkat Ali extracts.

Pollution and heavy metal contamination is another widespread problem with Tongkat Ali and many herbal products. The Tongkat Ali I suggest is routinely tested by the supplier for heavy metals and microbiological impurities each and every time it is imported from Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia. It easily passes all of the International safety standards.

I searched for years to find the purest Tongkat Ali at the best price. I tested different brands for contamination. I also tested the effectiveness of different brands on myself and my friends. This Tongkat Ali is simply outstanding. It is the purest, cleanest and highest quality with the highest amounts of active ingredients that I have ever tested.

It’s always good to start slowly with any new supplement. For Tongkat Ali, I suggest starting with 1 capsule each day in the morning for five days and then take two days off. After 7-10 days, start taking 2 capsules each day in the morning for 5 days and continue to take 2 days off. This mimics the natural rise and fall of testosterone in the body. You should notice a difference in your body, brain and the bedroom after a week of taking two each day.

I would love to hear from anyone who has tried it with this regimen. Please post your feedback in the comments below.


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The statements and products referred to throughout this site have not been evaluated by the FDA. They are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. They are the expressed opinion of John Gray for the sole purpose of educating the public regarding their health, happiness and improved quality of relationships. Individual results may vary. Men who begin to experience impotence and sexual performance issues should consult with a health care professional to learn if it is a serious health condition. Seek the advice of a competent health care professional for your specific health concerns.

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Iodine Supplements Can Help Your Thyroid Health

John Gray

What is Iodine?

Iodine is a mineral that is needed for your cells to convert food into energy. You especially need iodine for normal thyroid function and for the production of thyroid hormones.

Iodine is necessary for making thyroid hormones, triiodothyronine and thyroxine, also known as T3 and T4. These hormones are essential for physical and mental development. Ultimately, iodine helps to boost your immunity, create a healthy metabolism, balance estrogen in women, and support prostate health in men.

Your body cannot make iodine. Iodine must come from your diet but this is hard because there is very little iodine in our food sources or our depleted soils. Besides iodized table salt, the most common source of iodine is found in seaweed. Other foods high in iodine are kelp, kale, broccoli, cabbage, peanuts, Brussels sprouts, turnips and kohlrabi.

About 75% of your iodine supply is found in the thyroid gland in the neck. The rest is stored throughout your whole body because every cell uses iodine. Some estimate that more than half of the US population suffer from insufficient levels of iodine. It happens more often in women than in men. It is also more common in pregnant women and older children.

Most people tend to have low thyroid gland production. This usually results in lower metabolism, lower energy levels and feelings of fatigue, migraines and occasional headaches, weight gain, poor memory, and depression. These are subtle symptoms. If your body is really iodine deficient, then your pituitary gland releases the thyroid stimulating hormone (TSH), which causes your thyroid gland to swell into a goiter.

When you have high thyroid gland production, it is known as hyperthyroidism. This can create a higher metabolism with an inability to gain weight despite eating more. It can also increase your heart rate and make your hands shake at times. Another symptom of hyperthyroidism is feeling exhausted at the end of the day but experiencing insomnia at night.

Lugol’s Solution vs. Nascent Iodine

Most health experts consider Lugol's iodine solution a safe and effective iodine supplement. Lugol is not a brand name. It is a form of iodine supplementation, named after the French doctor who created a combination of potassium and iodine crystals.

Iodoral is a tablet form of Lugol solution. Iodoral comes in tablet form and is promoted as is one of the best iodine supplements on the market. Each tablet of Iodoral contains 5 mg of iodine and 7.5 mg of potassium iodide, which is a compound commonly used to iodize table salt.

Nascent Iodine is one of the most powerful forms of iodine supplementation. Nascent Iodine is created by placing a 1 percent tincture of iodine in a high electromagnetic field. This creates an atomic state with an electromagnetic charge that is held by the atom until the tincture is diluted in water and consumed. This is why nascent iodine is sometimes referred to as atomic iodine, monatomic iodine, or atomidine.

When iodine is processed through an electrical field, it makes the iodine more reactive and absorbable in the body. This allows your body to recognize and assimilate it more easily than other forms of iodine supplements. Its unique structure and form allow it to travel through the body, quicker and easier than any other iodine supplements.

However nascent iodine is shorter-acting and may require several doses per day. Once diluted and inside the body, the iodine is readily utilized by the body, but the charged atom of iodine gradually loses its energy over 2 to 3 hours.

Nascent iodine is a great choice when you need a boost to your thyroid levels. After your levels are normalized, iodoral is a good choice for steady maintenance and iodine supplementation.

How Much Iodine Do I Need?

The best way to get the daily requirement of essential vitamins is to eat a balanced diet that includes some of the foods I  mentioned above. Most people are able to meet the daily recommendations by eating seafood, iodized salt, and plants grown in iodine-rich soil. As a good benchmark, a 1/4 teaspoon of iodized table salt provides 95 micrograms of iodine while a 6-ounce portion of ocean fish provides 650 micrograms of iodine.

Everyone needs different amounts based on their body’s ability to utilize the nutrients as well as their thyroid levels. If you are dealing with a severe health condition then your dosages would need to be higher than those trying to maintain good health.

Some believe a good maintenance dose is 25 mgs per day. However, since we are exposed to more and more bromides, fluorides, chlorine and heavy metals, like mercury, some doctors believe that 50 mgs may be the minimum required dose. Iodine supplements should be taken before lunch because it can increase your energy so much that you are unable to sleep. It is best for to work with a health professional or naturopathic doctor in your area to find the right amount of iodine for you. 


The statements and products referred to throughout this site have not been evaluated by the FDA. They are the expressed opinion of John Gray for the sole purpose of educating the public regarding their health, happiness and improved quality of relationships. They are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. Individual results may vary. Seek the advice of a competent health care professional for your specific health concerns.

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2-AEP Helps Balance Blood Sugar Levels

John Gray

Membrane Complex is a combination of calcium, magnesium and potassium and 2-AEP.

These minerals are found in your cell membranes, the outer walls of your cells which act as a protective layer for your cells.

Membrane Complex helps to strengthen your outer cell walls, which helps protect your cells from toxins, heavy metals, chemicals and pollutants. These attackers can only enter through the lipid pores of the cell membrane, but this combination of calcium, magnesium, potassium and 2-AEP helps to create a special sealing function in the cell membrane.

This was discovered in 1971, when research showed how calcium, magnesium, potassium and 2-AEP were very successful with sealing cell membranes to prevent penetration of peroxidase granules, a precursor to oxidative stress in the cells. It was also discovered that 2-AEP alters the membrane composition by allowing essential nutrients to enter the cell while blocking toxic substances. 

In addition to keeping unwanted chemicals from entering your body at the cellular level, Membrane Complex also helps your cells absorb the essential minerals your body needs. 

Membrane Complex was formulated by Hans A. Nieper, M.D. Dr. Nieper was one of the top physicians in the fields of cancer, multiple sclerosis, metabolism, aging, and cardiac disease. His patients included celebrities and politicians from around the world, including Ronald Reagan, Princess Caroline of Monaco, Anthony Quinn, and John Wayne. Nancy Sinatra praised Dr. Nieper as a "fabulous person, a recognized scientist, a marvelous doctor."

Dr. Nieper published over 350 articles in medical journals and holds 131 International Patents on various natural therapies. His treatments for cancer and multiple sclerosis were reviewed and approved by the German Government. One of his most important precepts was: "Cancer cannot be treated as a local disease. Cancer infests the entire body; therefore, the entire body must be strengthened." This is why he treated disorders at the cellular level with non-toxic substances.

After years of studying its effects, Dr. Nieper believed that "people taking 2-AEP hardly age, neither in their outward appearance nor by any other criteria like skin tissue elasticity, skeletal firmness, etc."

2-AEP has also been shown to help maintain healthy blood sugar levels for people who are already within normal range. When you consume too much sugar, it raises the glucose levels in the red blood cells moving through your vessel and capillary systems. These high blood sugar levels can cause the small vessels to break down and rot, which creates big health problems for you.

Membrane Complex helps strengthen and seal your cells. So when you eat too much sugar,  the necessary minerals (calcium, magnesium and potassium) are protected in the cell to help regulate and utilize the glucose effectively. I explain this even further in my video.

Membrane Complex combines 400 mg of calcium (as calcium 2-AEP with 50 mg of elemental calcium), 400 mg of magnesium (as magnesium 2-AEP with 30 mg elemental magnesium), and 200 mg of potassium (as potassium 2-AEP with 40 mg elemental potassium).


The statements and products referred to throughout this site have not been evaluated by the FDA. They are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. They are the expressed opinion of John Gray for the sole purpose of educating the public regarding their health, happiness and improved quality of relationships. Individual results may vary. Seek the advice of a competent health care professional for your specific health concerns.

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Butterbur Helps Migraine Headaches and Seasonal Allergies

John Gray

There are so many over-the-counter drugs that are designed to help allergies, like decongestants and antihistamines. However, these remedies often come with a long list of unpleasant side effects.

Antihistamines are known for causing extreme drowsiness, which is so helpful if you plan on sleeping through the allergy season. Decongestants tend to have a stimulating effect, which is even more helpful if you would rather feel nervous and irritable instead of your allergies.

These medications are also known to elevate heart rate and blood pressure.

Luckily, there are more natural approaches you can take to help your allergy symptoms. One of these is an amazing supplement called butterbur extract.

Butterbur has been used for over 2000 years. It has historically been used for a variety of health issues including pain, anxiety, coughing, and gastrointestinal and urinary tract conditions. It has recently been shown to be very effective at relieving symptoms associated with nasal allergies, allergic skin reactions, asthma, and migraine headaches.

Butterbur is a plant that typically grows in wet, marshy soil throughout Europe and parts of Asia and North America. The name, butterbur, comes from the traditional use of its large leaves to wrap butter in warm weather.

The active ingredient in the extract is petasin, a substance that blocks the production of histamines and leukotrienes in the body.

When pollen, or any allergen for that matter, comes into contact with the mucous membranes of the nose, throat, or eyes, it can trigger the release of irritating, inflammatory chemicals, including histamines and leukotrienes. These chemicals, in turn, are responsible for producing a runny or stuffy nose and itchy eyes, as well as wheezing, sneezing, and coughing.

Butterbur seems to act as an leukotriene receptor inhibitor, so it helps control the amounts of allergy-producing chemicals leukotriene and histamine in the body, thus reducing the allergy response in the body.

The results of several scientific studies suggest that butterbur extract can reduce many allergic symptoms as effectively as some prescription drugs. In a 2005 study published in the British Medical Journal, Swedish researchers discovered that butterbur was as effective as the antihistamine Zyrtec in the treatment of allergic rhinitis.

The two-week study included 125 adults, all of whom had experienced symptoms of seasonal allergic rhinitis for at least two consecutive years. Half the participants took the recommended dose of Zyrtec: one 10-milligram tablet daily. The other half took butterbur, standardized to 8 milligrams of petasin per tablet, at a dosage of one tablet four times daily.

While both butterbur and Zyrtec produced effective symptom relief, the people taking butterbur reported significantly less drowsiness and fatigue than those taking Zyrtec.

Butterbur also helps people who suffer form migraines and headaches. In an article published in a 2004 issue of the journal Neurology, researchers reported that migraine sufferers who took butterbur extract twice daily for 12 weeks experienced a significant reduction in the frequency of migraine headaches compared to those taking placebo pills.

Butterbur won't cure your hay fever, but it can make springtime a little more enjoyable for you.


The statements and products referred to throughout this site have not been evaluated by the FDA. They are the expressed opinion of John Gray for the sole purpose of educating the public regarding their health, happiness and improved quality of relationships. They are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. Individual results may vary. Seek the advice of a competent health care professional for your specific health concerns.

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Collagen Holds Your Body Together

John Gray

Collagen is the glue that holds your body together

After water, it is the most common substance in your body. It’s mainly found in your muscles, bones, skin and tendons, but collagen is also found in your blood vessels, digestive tract, heart, eyes, gallbladder, kidneys and bladder.

Your collagen levels go down as you get older. Collagen production in the body slows around age 20 and after age 20, only one percent of collagen is produced in the skin each year. Other factors, like diets high in sugar, smoking and sun exposure, also contribute to depleting collagen levels. That can add up over the years.

When your body doesn’t have enough collagen, the skin starts to thin, wrinkle and sag. Hair gets lifeless or limp, and tendons and ligaments aren’t as elastic as they use to be. Your joints can feel stiff and creaky, too.

Adding collagen to your diet is easy and can help boost collagen levels in the body to support healthy tendons, ligaments and joints. It gives your skin strength and elasticity, and helps replace dead skin cells. Many people try to improve their skin with lotions and potions from the outside, but a high quality collagen protein can support healthy skin from the inside out. Additionally, collagen protein supplements can help improve your metabolism, boost your energy levels and maintain muscle mass.

Collagen is Dairy Free and Gluten Free Protein

Collagen is a great way to add protein to your diet that is dairy free, gluten free and easily digestible.

Collagen is a protein made up from amino acids, including the amino acids proline, glycine, glutamine and arginine.

Proline shrinks fat in your arteries by helping your artery walls release fat buildup in the bloodstream.

Glycine helps your cells function properly and builds healthy DNA strands. It’s also one of three amino acids that form creatine, which promotes healthy muscle growth and boosts energy production during workouts.

I also like to look for collagen supplements that include taurine and l-carnitine. Taurine is an antioxidant that supports the heart, liver and brain and energy function as well as endurance. L-carnitine further supports energy metabolism.

Five Big Benefits of Collagen

1. Better Skin
Increasing collagen levels can renew and repair your skin cells to make your skin look firmer and feel smoother. Extra collagen also helps reduce stretch marks and cellulite. As you age and your skin loses its elasticity and becomes thinner, cellulite becomes more evident. Cellulite is a result of fatty tissues pushing up through fibers in the skin’s upper layer. Collagen helps reduce the dimpling on your skin by repairing and rebuilding those fibers that cause cellulite to show.

2. More Flexible
When you lose collagen, your tendons and ligaments become more stiff and your joints can feel swollen. Collagen strengthens your ligaments and tendons to help your joints move more easily by reducing joint pain and the risk of joint deterioration.

3. Leaky Gut
Collagen helps break down proteins and adds helpful amino acids to the damaged cell walls in your gut’s lining. Collagen also helps your gut's lining and muscle tissues absorb water to keep things moving freely in the digestive tract.

4. Boosts Energy
Collagen canhelp increase your energy and metabolism. The gylcine that is found in collagen helps pump sugar into your body’s tissue. This helps you maintain and build muscle mass. Plus, it increases your energy levels and endurance.

5. Stronger Hair, Nails and Teeth
Collagen is the building block of your hair, fingernails and teeth. If your nails are peeling or splitting, or your hair feels limp and lifeless, then a lack of collagen could be to blame. Collagen can help keep your nails strong and your teeth healthy.

What To Do

One way to increase collagen consumption is by making a bone broth, such as a chicken bone broth. As the bones simmer for hours or days, they break down to into gelatin and release collagen in an easy-to-absorb broth. Bone broth was one of the first foods used as medical treatment in ancient China.

Collagen supplements, like collagen peptides and collagen proteins, are another easy way to add collagen to your diet. Collagen dissolves easily and can be drank with just water or mixed into smoothies.

It’s recommended that you take 2 tbsp a day. You can do 1 tbsp in your morning smoothie and 1 tbsp dissolved in a glass of water right before bed. Since collagen supports sleep and restores, repairs and regenerates your body, it is ideal to take before bed.


The statements and products referred to throughout this site have not been evaluated by the FDA. They are the expressed opinion of John Gray for the sole purpose of educating the public regarding their health, happiness and improved quality of relationships. They are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. Individual results may vary. Seek the advice of a competent health care professional for your specific health concerns.


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The Many Benefits of Berberine

John Gray

What Is Berberine?

Berberine is a bioactive compound that can be extracted from a number of different plants. Technically, it belongs to a class of compounds called alkaloids. It has a yellow color and has often been used as a dye by ancient cultures.

Berberine has a long history of use in traditional Chinese medicine for various ailments.

Berberine has been tested in hundred of different studies over the past 50 years and modern science has confirmed that it has impressive benefits for several different health problems.

Berberine has been shown to have powerful effects on many different biological systems. After you digest berberine, it travels through your bloodstream to your body's cells. Inside the cells, it binds to several different “molecular targets” and actually changes their function. 

One of these "targets" is an enzyme inside cells called activated protein kinase (AMPK). This enzyme is sometimes referred to as a “metabolic master switch”. It is found in the cells of various organs, including the brain, muscle, kidney, heart and liver. This enzyme plays a major role in regulating metabolism. Berberine activates this enzyme and gives a boost to do its job of regulating your metabolism.

Berberine And Blood Sugar

Berberine is also particularly effective at lowering blood sugar levels.

Type 2 diabetes is a serious disease that causes millions of deaths every year.It is characterized by elevated blood sugar (glucose) levels, either caused by insulin resistance or lack of insulin. Over time, high blood sugar levels can damage the body’s tissues and organs, leading to various health problems and a shortened lifespan.

Many studies show that berberine can significantly reduce blood sugar levels in individuals with type 2 diabetes.

It is believed to lower blood sugar by:
- reducing glucose production in the liver and improving insulin sensitivity.
- decreasing insulin resistance, making the blood sugar lowering hormone insulin more effective.
- helping the body break down sugars inside cells.
- easing the breakdown of carbohydrates in the gut.
- increasing beneficial bacteria in the gut.

In a study of 116 patients with type 2 diabetes, 1 gram of berberine per day lowered fasting blood sugar by 20%, from 7.0 to 5.6 mmol/L (126 to 101 mg/dL), or from diabetic to normal levels. It also lowered hemoglobin A1c by 12% (a marker for long-term blood sugar levels), and also improved blood lipids like cholesterol and triglycerides.

In fact, there was a big review of 14 different studies that found berberine to be as effective as oral diabetes drugs, including metformin, glipizide and rosiglitazone.

Berberine Helps Cholesterol and Heart Disease

Berberine is also very effective at reducing cholesterol, especially LDL cholesterol, and lowers blood triglycerides and blood pressure levels. This all helps to reduce the risk of heart disease.

Berberine has been shown to:
-lower total cholesterol by 0.61 mmol/L (24 mg/dL).
-lower LDL cholesterol by 0.65 mmol/L (25 mg/dL).
-lower blood triglycerides by 0.50 mmol/L (44 mg/dL).
-raise HDL cholesterol by 0.05 mmol/L (2 mg/dL).

It has also been shown to lower apolipoprotein B by 13-15%, which is a very important risk factor for heart disease.

According to some studies, berberine works by inhibiting an enzyme called PCSK9.  This enzyme helps remove more LDL cholesterol from the bloodstream.

What To Do

Many of the studies I mentioned above used dosages in the range of 900 to 1500 mg per day. It is common to take 500 mg 3 times per day, before meals (for a total of 1500 mg per day). Start light and take 1 pill a day for 3 days to see how your body adjusts to the new supplement. After taking GlycoX 500 for a long period (ex. 2-3 months), take a 1-2 week break or cycle every other day for best results.

Berberine has a half-life of several hours, so it is necessary to spread your dosage to several times per day to achieve stable blood levels.

It is always recommended that you speak to your personal healthcare provider before taking this supplement or any other supplement.


The statements and products referred to throughout this site have not been evaluated by the FDA. They are the expressed opinion of John Gray for the sole purpose of educating the public regarding their health, happiness and improved quality of relationships. They are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. Individual results may vary. Seek the advice of a competent health care professional for your specific health concerns.

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Serrapeptase Is A Powerful Enzyme That Reduces Pain

John Gray

Serrapeptase, or Serratio Peptidase, is a proteolytic enzyme, meaning it has the ability to chop up and digest proteins. This makes it helpful for reducing inflammation and mucus in the body. In fact, when this enzyme is isolated and coated in the form of a tablet, it can act as an anti-inflammatory, similar to aspirin, ibuprofen and other nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NASIDs).

errapeptase is used for painful conditions including back pain, osteoarthritis, rheumatoid arthritis, osteoporosis, fibromyalgia, carpal tunnel syndrome, migraine headaches, and tension headaches. 

Serrapeptase is also used for conditions that involve pain, inflammation and swelling including sinusitis, laryngitis, sore throat, ear infections, swelling after surgery, swelling of a vein with the formation of a blood clot (thrombophlebitis), and inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) including ulcerative colitis and Crohn's disease. Research from the Institute of Clinical Otorhinolaryngology at the University of Naples, in Italy, found that Serrapeptase acted as an effective anti- inflammatory to improve ear, nose and throat disorders, and the supplement reduced pain.

Preliminary research has also shown that Serrapeptase may help inhibit plaque build-up in arteries, thereby preventing atherosclerosis (hardening of the arteries) and a resulting heart attack or stroke. Therefore, much like aspirin, this naturally derived enzyme may work to prevent inflammation, pain, heart attack and stroke. Unlike aspirin and other over-the- counter NSAIDs, Serrapeptase has not been shown to cause ulcers and stomach bleeding.

You should take Serrapeptase on an empty stomach, at least two hours after eating. No food should be consumed for a half hour after taking Serrapeptase as well. Follow the directions on the bottle. 


The statements and products referred to throughout this site have not been evaluated by the FDA. They are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. They are the expressed opinion of John Gray for the sole purpose of educating the public regarding their health, happiness and improved quality of relationships. Individual results may vary. Seek the advice of a competent health care professional for your specific health concerns.

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Staying Happy With A Healthy Microbiome

John Gray

What is a Microbiome?

The human microbiome is a complex ecosystem made up of of bacteria, fungi, viruses, and protozoa living on your skin and in your mouth, nose, throat, lungs, stomach and intestines. It varies from person to person based on diet, health history, geographic location, and even ancestry.

This human microbiome consists of more than 100 trillion microbes that must be properly balanced and cared for to stay healthy. In fact, For every one of your cells, there are 10 microbial cells living on or inside your body, helping your body to perform life-sustaining functions.

Less than ten years ago, the species of bacteria that scientists had discovered as indigenous cohabitants of the human body numbered only 200. Now researchers estimate that more than 10,000 different microbial species occupy our microbiome. They are also realizing how critical the health of our microbiome is to every aspect of our wellness.

Some of these microbes, called symbiotic bacteria, are helpful to you and others, which we call pathogens, are just waiting for an opportunity make you sick and cause disease. What scientists have recently come to understand is that this army of microbes makes up 70 percent of your immune system, helping your body’s natural killer T-cells know the difference between the symbiotic bacteria and pathogens.

So a balanced microbiome helps protect against pathogen invasion, but it also helps the development of your entire immune system by detoxifying your body, keeping your weight balanced, and optimizing nutrition.

Stress Disrupts Your Microbiome

Chronic stress has been shown to cause changes in the composition, diversity, and number of microorganisms in your gut, which reduces your microbiome’s ability to protect you. Research in mice found that an increase in stress resulted in an increase of harmful bacteria and in a reduction of microbial diversity.  Further studies have also shown that mental stress can slow down movement in your small intestine, which encourages the overgrowth of harmful bacteria and compromises the intestinal lining.

Serotonin is associated with a sense of optimism, comfort and support - which are all the things we need to cope with stress. However, if you don't have the nutritional support to make enough serotonin, then it's less likely you will ever feel like you are receiving enough support or have an optimistic outlook on life. And, most likely, you are stressed out and unhappy.

When you are stressed, your body is in fight-or-flight mode, as if it was being chased by a bear. This can cause you to choose high carbohydrate, high sugar foods for more quick energy but very little nutritional support. It can also cause you to gain weight because if you are looking to carbohydrates and sugars for energy, then your body is not burning your fat for energy - as it should - and you hold onto the fat in your body.

When you are stressed, your body can also stop making enough hydrochloric acid to fully digest your the proteins in your food. When you don't fully digest your proteins, you are unable to convert the proteins to peptides, which are precursors for creating dopamine and serotonin.

It's a bad relationship. You use up serotonin faster when you are under stress but the stress also makes it harder for your body to make serotonin.

It's harder to create serotonin because your microbiome is out of balance. If your stomach reduces its production of hydrochloric acid due to stress, then undigested food can reach your intestines. This can cause tremendous inflammation and a conditon called leaky gut syndrome. Plus, the sugary foods help to create an acidic environment, which is breeding ground for pathogens and an unbalanced microbiome.

What To Do

Eat Real Foods
Some of the most popular foods in our modern diets do the most damage to your microbiome. These include processed foods, genetically modified foods (GMOs), sugar and wheat. Eat more vegetables and salads instead. The microbes in your gut prefer plants and they are easier for them to break down vegetables and extract the nutrients from them.

Avoid Antibiotics
Antibiotics cannot distinguish between the good bacteria and the bad bacteria. While antibiotics may eliminate the bacteria causing your health condition, they also wipe out the necessary and beneficial bacteria. This leaves your microbiome off balance and leaves you more prone to getting a worse condition later.


Mineral deficiency may be one of the leading causes of your stress because they are so important for creating serotonin. Lithium, potassium, magnesium, calcium, zinc, chromium are all important minerals for proper brain function. If you are experiencing tremendous stress, you should take 2 capsules of my Super Minerals with 1 extra lithium orotate twice each day.

Take a good, time-released B-vitamin every day. B vitamins help your body form red blood cells and get energy from the food you eat.
I also recommend 10,000IU of Vitamin D every day with 300 mcg of Vitamin K2. You need both in adequate amounts for optimal health.

Start with my Super Foods Shake. It's made with cold-processed, undenatured whey protein and it is loaded with enzymes. I like to blend it without ice, leave it out for 30 minutes and allow the enzymes to convert the proteins in the shake to peptides. Then I add ice, banana, almond butter and blend it up. it tastes so much better and is easier to digest so my body and my brain can benefit even more.

If you don't notice a big change in your energy, focus and digestion after a couple weeks of just taking the Super Foods Shake and Super Minerals, then try taking 50mg of 5-HTP twice each day 500 mg of L-Tyrosine twice each day. Do this for a couple weeks and you should experience a big change.

When you experience chronic stress, you are probably not fully digesting the proteins in your food. When the undigested food reaches your intestines, it can cause inflammation and leaky gut syndrome. To reduce inflammation in your body, you've got to do 2 things. The first is to activate your immune system with extra Vitamin D, Super Minerals and GcMAF protein.

If are not digesting your proteins, then your body is not able to properly create the GcMAF protein to boost your immune system and keep you healthy. GcMAF protein is normally created by the healthy bacteria found in your gut. However, many people have destroyed this healthy bacteria and gut flora with pharmaceutical drugs like antibiotics, harsh environmental chemicals like glysophates, and toxic fast foods.

Fermented foods help to restore healthy gut flora. Certain fermented foods hold certain strains of healthy bacteria. This Bravo Probiotic Yogurt has 42 specific strains of good bacteria that creates the GcMAF protein and activates Vitamin D and your immune system to stay healthy. I recommend you make it for 3 months to enjoy the maximum benefits. If you like it, then stay with it.

The statements and products referred to throughout this site have not been evaluated by the FDA. They are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. They are the expressed opinion of John Gray for the sole purpose of educating the public regarding their health, happiness and improved quality of relationships. Individual results may vary. Seek the advice of a competent health care professional for your specific health concerns.

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Do Long Distance Relationships Ever Work?

John Gray

Hi John -

I read your book Mars and Venus On A Date and I am hoping you can help me with my long distance dating situation.

I live in New York but I am dating a guy who lives in California. He comes to New York for 1 week each month for work. It's always an amazing week together.

This has been going on for 8 months. And we have been exclusive for the past 3 months. It's getting scary.

He grew up on the West Coast and STRONGLY does not want to move here (New York). My family all live in the New York area - 3 sisters - but I have no intention to move (to California).

Do long distance relationships ever work and for how long?

Thank you so much!


Hi Lisa-

Thank you for writing in. I receive many questions about long distance relationships. So many more people are travelling for work than ever before. Distance in relationships is becoming more common. Although, distance may make the heart grow fonder, it doesn't make dating and relationships any easier.

It sounds like you are at the "Uncertainty" stage in your relationship, the second stage of a dating relationship that I explain in my book Mars and Venus On A Date. During the Uncertainty stage, it is important to not sabotage the potential success of your relationship. Often during Uncertainty, a woman may seek too much reassurance from a man and he will distance himself from her. This is mainly because he isn't sure himself and doesn't want the pressure of having to decide yet.

I will be honest with you...I don't think this long distance relationship is going to last a long time. They usually don't because eventually one person or both people in the relationship stops receiving what they need and want for a loving, long-term relationship - and that is intimacy.

He does not want to move to New York and you do not want to move to California. It sounds like he has strong feelings about New York and his job is keeping him in California. So he is not likely to move. It sounds like you have your family and your support system in New York. If you move, you will lose that and that will be very challenging.

Watch my video to hear what I think is the ideal situation for a long-distance relationship to thrive and grow into a deeper connection with fulfilling intimacy.

Grow in love,

John Gray

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John Gray Teaches The 6 Kinds Of Love At His Soul Mate Seminar

John Gray

John Gray teaches the six kinds of love you need to give and receive with your Soul Mate. This video is a clip from a recent Soul Mate Seminar at his ranch home in Northern California.

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John Gray Explains The Chemistry Of Love At His Soul Mate Seminar

John Gray

John Gray explains the 4 things that make up the chemistry of love with a Soul Mate: Physical Chemistry, Emotional Chemistry, Sexual Chemistry and Spiritual Chemistry. This video is a clip from a recent Soul Mate Seminar at his ranch home in Northern California.

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John Gray Leads A Walking Meditation At His Soul Mate Seminar

John Gray

John Gray explains how easy it is to feel happy with his guided, walking meditation. This video is a clip from a recent Soul Mate Seminar at his ranch home in Northern California.

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John Gray talks to Moms Across America about GMOs, Toxins and Brain Health

John Gray

John Gray on GMOs, Glyphosate, Toxins and Brain Health

I was interviewed recently by Zen Honeycutt and Moms Across America. It was a great interview so I wanted to share it here.

We discussed some very important topics including GMOs, over-the-counter medications, cancer, dementia and overall brain health. 
We also reviewed what you can do about autism, Parkinson's, ADHD and addictions.

I am glad we were able to spend time talking about glyphosate. I explained how glyphosate destroys the gut bacteria and stops the production of glutathione, which is a cell protector. We are exposed to glyphosate every day. Glyphosate "holds or makes unavailable" the vital nutrients of any living thing it touches. So you could be eating healthy food, organic vegetables and fruits with a water filter and and still be vitamin and mineral deficient. Glyphosate is in your food and water, the air and the rain, and it depletes the vitamins and minerals available. This impacts our brain and overall health, relationships, performance and happiness.

We begin to talk about GMOs and glyphosate at around 12 minutes.

I share the impact that acetaminophen, Tylenol and other toxic exposure have had on our brains at 28 minutes. 

We also briefly touch on the controversy surrounding Dr. Bradstreet at 35 minutes.

Many thanks Zen and Moms Across America for all the work they do to support natural health around the world.

Related Videos

ADHD | ADD - Part 1 - Understanding Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

How I Reversed My Parkinson's Disease Symptoms

Healthier Solutions For Replacing Over-The-Counter Medicines

GcMAF Bravo Super Probiotic Yogurt

The statements and products referred to throughout this site have not been evaluated by the FDA. They are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. They are the expressed opinion of John Gray for the sole purpose of educating the public regarding their health, happiness and improved quality of relationships. Individual results may vary. Seek the advice of a competent health care professional for your specific health concerns.

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Help! My Mate's A Scrooge! - Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus TV Show

John Gray

John Gray appears on the Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus TV show with Cybill Shepherd.

"Help! My Mate's A Scrooge!

Episode 1079
February 15, 2001

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Pleasing Mars in The Bedroom - Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus TV Show

John Gray

John Gray appears on the Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus TV show with Cybill Shepherd.

"Pleasing Mars in the Bedroom"

Episode 1071
January 9, 2001

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My Job Is Ruining My Relationship - Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus TV Show

John Gray

John Gray appears on the Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus TV show with Cybill Shepherd.

"My Job Is Ruining My Relationship"

Episode 1070
January 10, 2001

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John Gray Explains How Stress Affects Our Relationships

John Gray

John Gray explains how stress affects our personal health and our closest relationships. Kelowna, BC Canada. November 29, 2011

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JOhn Gray Mars Venus Soul Mate Relationship Seminar Ranch