Mars Venus

ADHD | ADD - Part 2 Helping Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

John Gray

In the past, many people believed symptoms of ADHD commonly go away as we move out of childhood and into adulthood. I have observed the opposite in my clients. In childhood, ADHD shows up in more obvious ways but as our brains continue to develop and our coping skills increase, the condition causing ADHD in childhood continues on, often unacknowledged but inhibiting our potential for personal fulfillment.

Here are some of the new challenges caused by ADHD at six major stages of brain development and maturity:

Stage 1 Children experience different degrees of trauma related to learning and behavior challenges.

Stage 2 Teens experience new social challenges including isolation, bullying, body image, obesity and addictions. While violence and video addiction is increasing in boys, girls are experiencing more body image problems and bullying. Boys experience late puberty and girls experience early puberty.

Stage 3 Young adults experience a failure to launch, increasing depression, anxiety and an inability to commit in relationships. Girls complain boys are unwilling to make commitments and some boys report girls are too sexually aggressive.

Stage 4 Adults experience an increasing inability to manage stress levels, which in turn leads to dissatisfaction in relationships, overwhelm, exhaustion and divorce.

Stage 5 At midlife, aging adults face some version of the “midlife crisis” which includes boredom in relationships, depression based on regret, and/or boredom with work and a longing to quit and retire.

Stage 6 Elders today experience unprecedented levels of modern diseases that were previously not common including diabetes, heart disease, cancer, Parkinson’s disease, dementia and Alzheimer’s disease.

At each stage, if ADHD is not healed it continues on in new and different ways. The childhood symptoms shift into teenage symptoms and so on. The symptoms of each stage remain to some degree but are overlooked or suppressed as new coping mechanisms emerge.

Lets explore common coping mechanisms of ADHD that may emerge according to the four temperaments I define in my first book of the three-part series, Staying Focused In A Hyper World: Creative, Responsible, Bold, and Sensitive.

Coping Mechanisms for Creative Children
At puberty, children with a creative temperament who are hyper-focused on seeking new stimulation may no longer be spaced out, bored or distracted in classrooms. Instead they learn to cope by creating a kind of tunnel vision or focus that allows them to excel at one thing but limits their ability to enjoy other interests. With great enthusiasm they may start new projects but quickly loose interest, procrastinate or not follow through.

As adults in relationships, they can be hyper focused on loving their partner in the beginning but may just as quickly lose interest, moving on to a new partner or a new focus that provides a new challenge. They tend to be hot and cold in their relationships. They may not realize their lack of commitment in a relationship is a symptom of ADHD but feel they have just lost that loving feeling and have no idea why. 2.

Coping Mechanisms for Responsible Children
A child at puberty with a responsible temperament who is hyper-controlling may stop resisting change but as a teenager they may become obsessed with being perfect. They may become high achievers but never feel good enough. They may also become overly stubborn, rebellious or defiant. On the other hand they may compensate by becoming obedient to the wishes of other or their parents. They may become excessively vulnerable to peer pressure. As adults they may climb the ladder of success and eventually discover they were climbing up the wrong wall.

In relationships they are often disappointed and may feel they give more and get less. They are often rejected or criticized for being too judgmental or too controlling. They do not recognize that their need for perfection is excessive and a symptom of ADHD. They feel misunderstood because they are only trying to make things better.

In some cases, they may cope with these symptoms of ADHD by overeating, over-exercising or over sleeping. They mistakenly conclude they just like to overeat, over-sleep or over-exercise.

Coping Mechanisms for Bold Children
When children with a bold temperament who are hyperactive become teenagers, they may be able to sit still in class but their minds remain busy, distracted or bored to death. They may stop fidgeting but in their minds they are somewhere else. It is hard for them to stay focused on a particular train of thought. A hyperactive teen or adult may develop the coping mechanism of becoming a thrill seeker to avoid feeling bored with the routine of life. Rather than consider “dangerous thrill seeking” a coping mechanism of ADHD to suppress the feelings of boredom, they would conclude, “I just like to do dangerous things.”

They may be unable to relax and enjoy the moment and mistakenly conclude that is just the way they are. They are always busy moving towards some future goal but unable to appreciate what they have in the moment. Their minds keep them constantly busy thinking up new things to either worry about or achieve.

Coping Mechanisms for Sensitive Children
Children with a sensitive temperament who are hyper-vulnerable may develop the coping mechanism of repressing their need for love and as a result resist or reject affection, appreciation or intimacy.

They may become hardened by life and relationships and become overly self-reliant and independent. They always wear a smile because they are determined to not get hurt by depending on another. They can be very loving and giving but are not good at receiving. In intimate relationships they are easily disappointed and may become moody, anxious or depressed.

As adults they may become overly caring for others to avoid feeling their own vulnerable feelings. Eventually the denial of their own needs catches up and they feel alone, resentful or hurt. Rather than recognizing over-giving as a symptom of ADHD they may just blame others for not supporting or appreciating them enough.

When ADHD is not recognized we can easily delude ourselves and become addicted to our coping mechanisms. Even actual drug addictions are coping mechanisms to minimize the symptoms of ADHD.

These coping mechanisms cause us to gradually disconnect from our ability to know our true feelings. We lose focus on what is most important in life and as a result we give importance to what is not really important.

This is a list of common coping mechanisms that people use to self-medicate the symptoms of ADHD:

1. Pornography, excessive masturbation and all substance abuse.
2. Constant short-term relationships and an inability to commit to long-term loving relationships.
3. Dramatic increase in obesity due to increased consumption processed junk foods and sugar products.
4. Dramatic increase in caffeine consumption. Ironically, excessive caffeine consumption leads to chronic fatigue, which in turn leads to increased caffeine consumption.
5. The massive use of drugs like Viagra and Cialis to sustain an erection in a committed relationship. The downregulation of dopamine receptors in ADHD causes millions of adults to lose interest in their partners. When their partners are no longer new or novel their interest and attraction goes away.
6. Men become overly engaged in their work and lose focus on their partners.
7. Women become overly focused on the needs of others and become overwhelmed feeling like there is no time for themselves.

Recognizing how we avoid the pain, boredom, lack of focus and procrastination associated with ADHD, frees us to begin the journey of true self-discovery, authentic self-reflection and the expression of our inner genius potential.

In this video series, I suggest many natural solutions for helping children and adults with ADHD symptoms. For a complete list, download my ebook Staying Focused In Hyper World Starter Guide by entering your name and email address below.

Generally speaking, naturopath doctors suggest the dosage amounts below for children. If it is for an adult, then double the amounts listed below:

1 capsule Super Minerals 2 times a day
1 capsule Lithium Orotate 2 times a day 
1 capsule Grape Seed Extract 2 times a day (total 300mg a day)
1/2 tsp of Liposomal Vitmain C twice a day  or 1 capsule of Vitamin C 2 times a day
1 John Gray’s Mars Venus Super Foods Shake once a day (men’s or women’s)
1 chewable Potential Vitamins 2 times a day

If you choose not to use the SuperFood Shake add the following:
1 L-Tyrosine 500 MG once a day (total 500mg a day)
1 N’Acetyl L-Cysteine (NAC) once a day (500mg a day)
1 5-HTP 50mg once a day (50mg a day)

These are amounts for the average child, 75-90 pounds. Cut dosage in half for children under 75 pounds. Double dosages for adults over 100 pounds.

Note: Children enjoy Vitamin C Plus Antioxidant Drink, you can use one scoop of this product in place of vitamin C capsule. The minimum dosages are listed above, if you do not see results in a couple of weeks double the Vitamin C and Grapeseed Extract dosage. If your diet lacks Omega 3, add 1 Vectomega Daily.

Related Videos

ADHD | ADD - Part 1 - Understanding Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

ADHD | ADD - Part 3 - Ending Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

ADHD | ADD for Women and Girls

My Son Has ADHD

to learn more about the products discussed in this video.

The statements and products referred to throughout this site have not been evaluated by the FDA. They are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. They are the expressed opinion of John Gray for the sole purpose of educating the public regarding their health, happiness and improved quality of relationships. Individual results may vary. Seek the advice of a competent health care professional for your specific health concerns.

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  • RV1219
     6/16/2014 9:28:06 AM
    I am getting ready to start my children on this program, and I have been waiting and watching to see when the "Potential Vitamins" are coming back in stock. They have been out of stock for a while, and I have also looked on another site for them, and they are also out of stock there. Do you have any suggestions on where else I can get these vitamins? It's the only thing I am missing to get my kids started, and I was hoping to have them do this throughout the summer. Thank you so much for any assistance!...
  • MJR
     3/28/2014 7:38:21 AM
    Good helpful information, but I am a little confused about the amounts you suggest below. Could you please clarify the following: 1) Does the comment about doubling the dosage for adults apply to everything above? 2) This does not make sense: "1 capsule in the evening Vitamin C 500mg, twice a day". Are you suggesting 2 capsules in the evening? Are you saying 1000MG for Children and 2000mg for Adults a day? Your handbook has "twice a day take 600mg of Vitamin C. 3) In your handbook you also mention 300mg of quercetin for focus. Why is that not mentioned below? Would 300Mg be for kids? I would like to try natural remedies, but I want to make sure that amounts are correct. Thanks!...
  • ckwake74
     2/24/2014 9:21:00 AM
    John I heard you on Coast to Coast AM and your discussion on ADHD was a revelation to me. I have been working with a counselor on this issue personally as an adult male and was close to accepting the idea of meds. I have just started the supplement program, which I feel much better about and have regained conviction of not using meds. Thank you.