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SEX ADVICE

3 sure-fire ways to orgasm during sex

Lauren Gray

Hi Lauren,

I am 33 years old and I’ve never had an orgasm during intercourse. What do I need to do to have one? Do I have a disability down there?

-Maria
 

Hi Maria,

The world has been lying to you

You do NOT have a disability. Only 30% of women orgasm from stimulation to their G-spot alone. You wouldn't know the number was that low based on T.V., movies and porn because the women we see there ALWAYS orgasm from sex.
 
Unfortunately, media influences what men expect from women and what women expect from themselves.

When you don't orgasm from sex, a man can feel frustrated and discouraged. This puts pressure on you to “fake it” for his sake, which, as an act of inauthenticity, prevents you from developing intimacy and trust with your partner. Ultimately his disappointment/frustration in conjunction with the media makes YOU feel like there is something wrong with you: like you’re not sexy, or you’re not a “real” woman.
 

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you! You have the capability of being an absolute sex goddess. Hopefully a little Sex Ed will help you see that.


Sex-Ed 
 
When a fetus evolves into a boy or a girl, the exact cells that become the tip of the penis in a boy become the clitoris in a girl. This is where a hugely dense amount of nerve endings are located, it is the most sensitive spot on the body, and continued stimulation of this spot leads to orgasm.

You might have known that part. ; )

But the lesser-known fact is that the same cells that become the scrotum in a boy become the vulva in a girl. Asking a woman to orgasm from vulva/g-spot stimulation alone is like asking a man to achieve orgasm from merely being stroked on the balls. Not very likely and if it did happen, it would take FOR-EV-ER!


How to work WITH your body (instead of against it)
 
If you want to orgasm during sex you have a few options; all of them include stimulating the clitoris at the same time that your man is inside you.

Most men love it when you play with their balls during a blowjob because it enhances the experience even though the main stimulation is to the head of the penis.

This is the same for women. Even though the clitoris is the main stimulation for you, having him inside you enhances the experience.
 

3 ways to incorporate clitoral stimulation during sex

1. You can use a mini bullet style vibrator to hold against the clitoris during sex. It's small and doesn't get in the way.

2. You can use a “We-Vibe” which is a vibrator you wear during intercourse that stimulates both the g-spot and the clitoris and allows your hands to wander as they will.

3. You can also use your hand or ask your partner to use his to stimulate the clitoris during sex. This works especially well in a side position with your leg hooked over his for easy access, in a lying down doggie style position, or in a standing position where you are leaning over something and he is behind you.


Sex is not a one size fits all

All bodies and all couples are different so explore what works best for you. There's no one size, sex, toy, position fits all here. It's important to have patience and a sense of play as you discover with your partner what works best for you.
 
Let your man know about all of this so that he doesn't feel like "HE isn't enough." Men are sensitive when it comes to sexual performance and they can have outlandish expectations of women (thanks porn industry!). So give him a little Sex Ed, use a vibrator on your clitoris and tada! Orgasm during sex! 
 
With love,
Lauren
 

BONUS!!!

In order to have more orgasms in your life, you need to have an active libido. Without an active sex drive it's nearly impossible to achieve this kind of sensational stimulation. So in order to boost your libido, I recommend two all natural supplements you can add to your diet. Tongat Ali and Maca: two natural roots that will rock your world. Click here to learn more about how Tongat Ali can help you. Click here to learn more about Maca can help you. Enjoy!!

Now I want to hear from you!
 
Do have any shame around not being able to perform every time?

Do feel like your partner expects you to be like a porn star in the bedroom? How does that pressure effect your "performance?" Do you feel safe in your relationship to have a completely unique sexual experience? 
 
Don’t be shy. The more accurate and helpful information is out there, the more ladies can feel normal, confident and sexy. Get specific peeps! How else are we going to learn from your genius and life experience? 
 
If you enjoyed this article, please SHARE IT with your friends! Spread the word through facebook, twitter, google + and pinterest: there is a broader definition of sexy than what the media portrays. Share the love. Xxo.

 


 

read more blog posts from Lauren Gray
  • anonymousJ
     4/6/2014 10:05:54 PM
    This is helpful advice, but my problem is that I feel so bad about not being able to orgasm that I've always faked it... This has now become a problem as I love the man I'm with now and he doesn't know that I fake it.. I always feel guilty after sex and I don't know how to fix this.. I've tried to teach myself to orgasm during sex but I can never get there.. I don't know what to do. Please help!
  • Lauren Gray
     3/14/2014 11:49:21 AM
    Great question Appledite! I can put this question in my cue for a future blog but if you'd like a timely answer, you can work one-on-one with me here: http://www.marsvenus.com/lauren-gray-work-with-me.htm
  • appledite
     3/13/2014 2:14:49 PM
    thanks for the wonderful advice , but another question... Theres a guy i am having sexual relations with, we are not dating, just friends with benifits, but sometimes when he's super excited, he gets a little rough with me. How do i tell him without totally turning him off? also i have never orgasm once with him but i do fake it, which is the worst thing to do... idk why i do it :( he try the whole clitoral stimulation ,but hes a little rough and i dont want him to damage me down there so i leave the whole fingering thing out. some guys just have no clue yet i did mislead him.. please help, what do i do to enjoy sex with him again? should i find a new partner ? help :-/...
  • Lauren Gray
     1/1/2014 11:15:45 AM
    Hahaha. Thanks tellmisty for taking us all to school! ;-)
  • tellmisty
     12/30/2013 6:26:47 PM
    "Your penis might be THE most awesome penis of all time ..." LOL! I love it. Ahhh, Lauren, that's good stuff. A guy I was dating once had this unrealistic idea that his penis was his gift to me. I reached out one day and massaged his palm. "Does that feel good?" "Uh. Yeah." "That is what your penis feels like in my vagina. Just like that. Just ... that." His face ... was classic. I was so annoyed that he'd been with so many women and none of them had told the brother the truth about his penis, or more accurately, OUR VAJAYJAY. You know I beat around the bush (no pun intended) about it for weeks. The only path left: the straight-up DIRECT TRUTH. Now. I love penises. I do. But we need to put it all context, people!...