Mars Venus
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Independence vs. Intimacy: The limiting belief that's robbing you blind.


What a good woman is supposed to look like
(and why this belief is robbing you blind).
Everyday, we see commercials and movies portraying what a “good wife” looks like, what a “good mother” looks like, and what a “good business-woman” looks like. In none of those examples do you see a woman taking time for herself, putting her feet up and reading a book.

What we see portrayed is a woman who works tirelessly and sacrifices everything for the...

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10 things I do daily to keep my relationship bulletproof.

Valentine's Day shouldn't be the ONE day a year
you see or make an effort toward your relationship.
Valentine's Day, as I see it, is a day to celebrate and acknowledge the solid, loving, fun, passionate and committed relationship you've thoughtfully nurtured and built over
the rest of the year.

Which is why I'm sharing with you today,
The 10 things I do daily to keep my relationship bulletproof.

Because Grand Gestures are GREAT!
But real ...

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What "Leave me alone" ACTUALLY means in a relationship.


“Leave me alone!” doesn’t mean
what you think it means.
When it comes to a man, the words “Leave me alone,” mean one thing only. Leave him the heck alone or face the fire-breathing dragon.

No mystery.

No intrigue.

No dance steps.

It means exactly what it says.

But when it comes to a woman, this phrase is slightly more nuanced and can mean more than one thing.

(It’s not fair but it’s true.)

This leaves most...

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How to make him contribute more to the relationship

Dear Lauren,

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 years. I know he loves me but it’s like he can’t be bothered to show it. I give way more to the relationship than he does. He hardly puts any effort in at all. I’m sick of this being one sided. I don’t want to break up. I just want him to care more. How do I get him to give more to our relationship?

-Christina

Hi Christina,
Lopsided Love
The truth is women often give more to a relationship than a...

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The 3-part inevitable decline of a relationship without me-time

I love spending time with you
…just not ALL the time.

Somewhere along the way, we were taught that, “love means never letting go.”

This is a beautiful sentiment when you’re talking about sticking together as a couple through ups and downs.

This becomes a very detrimental sentiment when we take it as literally never letting our partner’s go and being together all the time.

Being together all the time isn’t love. It’s an addict...

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5 counter-intuitive ways me-time actually brings you closer to your partner.

Tis the season! So I’ve got a gift for you.

For the past year I've been cooking up something AMAZING for you - like life-changing-blow-your-mind-amazing. The collage above is a behind-the-scenes sneak peak. As you can see, the whole cast of characters is there:

-My dad (John Gray) helping me edit
-Our infamous Yerba Mate tea cups (we're so addicted!)
-Behind the scenes filming
-Beach therapy (couldn't do what I do without it!)
-My sweetie designi...

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What your partner REALLY wants for Christmas but will never ask for.

Holidays: Ideal vs. Reality

When I say "Christmas," I really mean Holidays. Because this has nothing to do with religion, tradition, or culture.

This is relationship specific.

In theory this time of year is supposed to be fun, jolly, warm and relaxing. Surrounding the fireplace sipping on hot toddies. Laughing around the dinner table because someone accidently put salt in the apple pie instead of sugar (this actually happened – shout out to my Aunt!)

In theory...

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DATING ADVICE

The myth of the honeymoon phase and why this could change EVERYTHING.

Dear Lauren,

My boyfriend and I have been dating less than a year. It’s supposed to be the honeymoon period, but I'm already starting to have issues. He’s a nice gentle guy, but sometimes he can be too easy going, and can't decide what he wants in life. I’m a bit of a control freak, and I freak out whenever he shows his happy-go-lucky side. I can already foresee we will have many problems and issues in the future with us being so opposite. Should I stay or should I...

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MARRIAGE ADVICE

Six Steps To Stop An Argument

As much as any couple may avoid fighting, the truth is, one minute you may feel great passion, and the next you’re contemplating divorce.
Many times, we think arguments occur because our partner’s behavior needs to change. Unfortunately, it’s usually not about them.

Arguing with your wife or husband is not a bad thing as long as you are not berating and hating your each other. Heated discussions can help bring issues to the surface and can encourage both parties to take ...

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Are you his number one priority or is someone else?

Dear Lauren,
My boyfriend and I been in a relationship for 9 months and see each other every weekend. The problem is that sometimes when we get an opportunity to get together on a weeknight he almost always has plans with the “guys” and blows me off. I feel like I’m second choice to his buddies and he doesn’t understand why I feel this way. Am I being unreasonable or is he?
-Katy

Hi Katy,

This particular argument, “Are friends more important than the s...

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Are you a nightmare to be with and you don't even realize it?! Cuz I was.

Are you a nightmare to be with and you don’t even realize it?

Some of the greatest villians of all time have been two faced. Jekyll and Hyde. Norman Bates. Harvey Dent and Two Face.

Why are these characters so consistently compelling?

Because “evil” is surface scary - slasher-film scary - but a person you love and trust turning on you with an evil side?

That’s real drama. That’s horrifying. That’s the kind of stuff nightmares are made of.
...

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DATING ADVICE

How to Make Yourself Irresistible to Men in 3 Simple Steps

Hi Lauren. I’m single but I want to be in a relationship. How do I make a man want me?

-Allie


Hi Allie,

Great question. This is a big question on a lot of single women’s minds. Because sometimes, good ol’ fashioned “be yourself” just doesn’t cut it.

Most of the time the reality of “being yourself” in front of a cute guy means clamming up and acting “cool, ” which includes NOT saying hi.

He can’t fall in...

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DATING ADVICE

How to tell if online Mr. Right is actually real-life Mr. Wrong

Dear Lauren,

A guy I knew over 20 years ago started messaging me on Facebook. In 3 weeks he sent me over 450 messages, all very flirty and about how he had a big thing for me years ago. We finally planned to meet at my birthday party but he cancelled the night before saying, he definitely wanted to meet up some other time. I told him I was coming off Facebook and if he ever wanted to catch up I gave him my mobile number. That was a week ago and I haven't heard anything from him since. I...

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SEX ADVICE

Initiating sex: who's job is it really?

Dear Lauren,

Within the couple, who is supposed to initiate sex?

-Charles


Hi Charles,

Who initiates sex and Why

Both. Either. Everyone.

I’m going to answer your question more specifically but I want to make it very clear that this is not a one-size-fits-all response.

It’s in trying to make sex a one-size-fit’s-all concept that causes so much of the confusion, misunderstanding, shame and frustration between couples in the bedroom.

Havin...

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Ask me YOUR relationship question! (One-on-one)


Lovin' the weekly blogs? Wondering how to ask me YOUR personal relationship question?

Click HERE to check out my new and improved Email Advice Packages. It's a brand new offer and I'm excited to share it with you!!!

I make sure my blogs pack a ton of practical insight and I hope you’ve seen awesome positive changes in your love life because of them. But sometimes, in order to see an even BIGGER impact, your relationship needs a more personal touch (it deserves it!...

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PARENTING ADVICE

My Son Has Stopped Talking To Me After Our Divorce

Hi John,

I have a 17 year old son who currently lives with his father. His father and I had a very ugly divorce and we fought for custody. For the past two years, my son has refused to have any communication with me. Attorneys have said what is going on now is just parent alienation against me.

I should also say my son is ADHD and I have been reading your Starter Guide to Staying Focused In A Hyper World.

What is the best thing I can do to facilitate a relationship with my son?
...

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HEALTH ADVICE

Ways To Increase Muscle Mass

Both high muscle mass or low muscle mass can inhibit brain performance. When the muscles are not nutritionally supported, they tend to rob the brain of the amino acids needed to make brain chemicals.

This is one of the reasons boys are so much more vulnerable to ADHD and autism. Boys, in general, have 30% more muscle mass than girls. In addition, girls have more estrogen which increases blood flow to the brain and has been shown to protect isolated neurons in the brain from oxidative stress...

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RELATIONSHIP ADVICE

Summer Workshop: Take your love life to the next level!

The tomatoes out on my deck are ripe, my nose is permanently in a state of tender pink, my freckle collection is growing, and I just watched a fireworks display from a canoe that made me feel like I was 6 years old. This all adds up to one thing.

It’s SUMMER!

I don’t know about you but I’m planning on having a “Grease” worthy Summer of Love.

For the past month I’ve been receiving emails from my partner, who works 3 doors down from me, with the s...

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HEALTH ADVICE

Seven Power Isoflex Exercises

These are easy exercises to help kick start your metabolism, give you more energy, balance your hormones and increase your strength.

I know it is difficult to think of devoting 20 to 30 minutes to 60 minutes every day to exercise when you wake up. So start light wiht 5 minutes every morning. After a couple weeks of consistent exercise, you will start waking up even earlier and have extra time for more exercise.

Start your day with aSuper Cleanse drink first thing every morning, along ...

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HEALTH ADVICE

Staying Focused In A Hyper World: Natural Solutions For ADHD, Memory And Brain Performance

Staying Focused In A Hyper World: Natural Solutions For ADHD, Memory And Brain Performance is my latest book coming out September 1, 2014. Itgives you practical information to help increase brain focus, memory and restore love and passion in your relationships.

Throughout this new book, I provide an in-depth explanation of the many faces, symptoms and stages of ADHD throughout our lives. It is a bigger subject than most people realize. It is not just affecting our children but the entire fa...