Mars Venus
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Why men don't give reassurance (and how to get some in 3 easy steps!)

Dear Lauren,

When my boyfriend and I get into a fight he remains withdrawn for the rest of the day and isn’t as affectionate as he usually is. I can’t help but worry I’ve ruined things and he’s having doubts about us.

I feel desperate for reassurance that we’ll be okay.I ask him to say something nice to make me feel better. He tells me he loves me and we’ll be fine, but can I trust that what he’s saying is truly how he feels? He still seems so ...

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What 'Leave me alone' ACTUALLY means in a relationship.

“Leave me alone!” doesn’t mean
what you think it means.
When it comes to a man, the words “Leave me alone,” mean one thing only. Leave him the heck alone or face the fire-breathing dragon.

No mystery.

No intrigue.

No dance steps.

It means exactly what it says.

But when it comes to a woman, this phrase is slightly more nuanced and can mean more than one thing.

(It’s not fair but it’s true.)

This leaves most...

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Staying Happy With A Healthy Microbiome

What is a Microbiome?

The human microbiome is a complex ecosystem made up of of bacteria, fungi, viruses, and protozoa living on your skin and in your mouth, nose, throat, lungs, stomach and intestines. It varies from person to person based on diet, health history, geographic location, and even ancestry.

This human microbiome consists of more than 100 trillion microbes that must be properly balanced and cared for to stay healthy. In fact, For every one of your cells, there are 10 mi...


Why Valentine's Day is just like going to the Dentist.

Why is Valentine’s Day like going to the Dentist? Why would I imply such a detestable thing when I’m a lover of love and I teach relationships for a living?

Great questions.

I have NOTHING against Valentine’s Day. I LOVE Valentine's Day! But maybe not for the reasons you think. I don’t love Valentine’s Day because it’s a day where we practice romance and buy things for each other and say, “I love you.”

I love Valentine's D...

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The 3-part inevitable decline of a relationship without me-time

I love spending time with you
…just not ALL the time.

Somewhere along the way, we were taught that, “love means never letting go.”

This is a beautiful sentiment when you’re talking about sticking together as a couple through ups and downs.

This becomes a very detrimental sentiment when we take it as literally never letting our partner’s go and being together all the time.

Being together all the time isn’t love. It’s a...


Relationship Book Bundle Giveaway!

Happy New Year! Let 2016 be YOUR year of Love.
Want to find your soulmate this year?
Want to commit more fully to your partner?
Want to make your good relationship great?
Want to inject passion into your relationship routine?
Want to have more date nights?
Want to liven up your sex life?
Want to deepen your intimacy through more communication?

Awesome! I’ve got something just for you!

I’m offering a Relationship Book Bundle Giveaway!!!!!

I want ...

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How couples can get through the holidays stress free.

This blog was originally posted 12/5/14. It has been edited and updated.
Holidays: Ideal vs. Reality
In theory this time of year is supposed to be fun, jolly, warm and relaxing. Surrounding the fireplace sipping on hot totties. Laughing around the dinner table because someone accidently put salt in the apple pie instead of sugar (this actually happened – shout out to my Aunt!)

In theory, holidays are a time to gather with the people you love most and show each other how...

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Do you ever feel needy? Your problem might be the solution.

Dear Lauren,

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 ½ years. Everything is great until he pulls away, he either wants to be alone or he wants to spend time with his friends. Every time he pulls away, I get super needy. I tell him I need him to stay home, I need him to listen to me, I need his attention.

I know I should let him to go out and be a “cool” girlfriend but I can’t help it. I just go into demanding crying mode and I need him to care more. He gets...

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He cheated on me. How can I move on and make this relationship work?

The blog was originally posted in August 2013 as “How to turn a cheater into a loyal and monogamous partner.” The video is vintage Ask Lauren and the blog itself has been edited and updated.

Hi Lauren,

I’ve been married for 25 years. In the past 15 years my husband has had two affairs. He says he is glad I saved our marriage and that he wants to make this work, but how do I know his words and feelings are genuine? How do I know that he truly loves me and that he&...

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3 love hacks to SAVE your long distance relationship.

Dear Lauren,

I want to understand my boyfriend and save my long distance relationship. I’m not sure if I want to be with him, because sometimes I think I can’t live without him, and sometimes I don’t want to deal with his ignorant behavior. He doesn’t even text me or call me. When I ask him why he doesn’tpay attention to me, he says he’s busy and he forgets. Frankly, I don’t feel like I’m asking too much. I don’t want to run after him, I...

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Are you a nightmare to be with and you don't even realize it?! Cuz I was.

This blog was originally posted October 24th, 2014.
Are you a nightmare to be with and you don’t even realize it?

Some of the greatest villians of all time have been two faced. Jekyll and Hyde. Norman Bates. Harvey Dent and Two Face.

Why are these characters so consistently compelling?

Because “evil” is surface scary - slasher-film scary - but a person you love and trust turning on you with an evil side?

That’s real drama. That’s horrifyin...


The SECRET to my great relationship.

Celebrating five years since I “fell on his face”

My partner, Glade, and I just got back from Napa, California where we celebrated our 5 year anniversary.

FYI - We’re not married. We celebrated the 5 out-of-this-world-amazing years since I drunkenly “fell on his face.”

Let me explain.

Six years ago we were JUST friends. We’d go hiking, we’d go out to breakfast, we were in a few musical theater shows together. We were pals. That&r...

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Do Long Distance Relationships Ever Work?

Hi John -

I read your book Mars and Venus On A Date and I am hoping you can help me with my long distance dating situation.

I live in New York but I am dating a guy who lives in California. He comes to New York for 1 week each month for work. It's always an amazing week together.

This has been going on for 8 months. And we have been exclusive for the past 3 months. It's getting scary.

He grew up on the West Coast and STRONGLY does not want to move here (New York). ...

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John Gray Teaches The 6 Kinds Of Love At His Soul Mate Seminar

John Gray teaches the six kinds of love you need to give and receive with your Soul Mate. This video is a clip from a recent Soul Mate Seminar at his ranch home in Northern California.

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John Gray Explains The Chemistry Of Love At His Soul Mate Seminar

John Gray explains the 4 things that make up the chemistry of love with a Soul Mate: Physical Chemistry, Emotional Chemistry, Sexual Chemistry and Spiritual Chemistry. This video is a clip from a recent Soul Mate Seminar at his ranch home in Northern California.

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John Gray Leads A Walking Meditation At His Soul Mate Seminar

John Gray explains how easy it is to feel happy with his guided, walking meditation. This video is a clip from a recent Soul Mate Seminar at his ranch home in Northern California.

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3 Secrets to Stop Attracting Mr. Wrong

Dear Lauren,

For a long time now, I have been seeing a man that only wants sex from me. This seems to be a pattern for me. Can a woman do something unconsciously to attract this type of man even though she wants a whole life relationship?


Dear Kate,

Absolutely she can! And I’ll tell you how. But first I want to teach you the formula to break A pattern, before we dive in to breaking YOUR pattern.

Step #1: See through the excuses and justifications and acknowle...

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John Gray talks to Moms Across America about GMOs, Toxins and Brain Health

John Gray on GMOs, Glyphosate, Toxins and Brain Health

I was interviewed recently by Zen Honeycutt and Moms Across America. It was a great interview so I wanted to share it here.

We discussed some very important topics including GMOs, over-the-counter medications, cancer, dementia and overall brain health.We also reviewed what you can do about autism, Parkinson's, ADHD and addictions.

I am glad we were able to spend time talking about glyphosate.I explained how glyphosate dest...

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How to deal with a jealous boyfriend

*This blog was originally posted in February 2014. It has been edited and updated.*

Dear Lauren,
Two months into my relationship, my boyfriend looked through all my text messages while I was sleeping. He found an old one from my ex. Three months later he went through all my emails and found a few from male friends. I have an extremely suspicious boyfriend.I have explained everything to him but he calls me deceitful, a liar, and untrustworthy.

I was outside at a party with a bunch of ...

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Hot and cold? How to tell if he has REAL feelings for you.

Dear Lauren,

I’ve been sorta seeing this guy for awhile. I told him at the beginning that I was not ready for a relationship. His response was fine, that he was willing to wait. So we continue casually talking, having lunch dates, and occasionally hooking up.

Now I feel ready to be in a relationship and I’m waiting for him to actively pursue me with romantic dates, phone calls and flowers. The problem is that I’m not seeing this happening. He’s been very inconsi...

JOhn Gray Mars Venus Soul Mate Relationship Seminar Ranch