Expert dating, marriage, and relationship advice

I need some advice because I am so confused over what I need to do; so here it goes.

When me and my bf met 4 yrs ago we clicked and the chemistry was right. We developed a very strong bond as best friends and lovers. However, I became depressed over my job and gained 40 lbs. And, that made me unhappy which also created problems in our relationship.

My bf stood by me and tried to encourage me; but I struggled with the weight. So, he saw that I was having a hard time and that begin to create issues for us.

He eventually cheated on me; he regreted it and went to couple counseling with me over this. I forgave him and things got back on track until 4 months ago.

Again, I got down about my job, gained weight and he cheated again. He again beg for forgiveness and is encouraging me to keep doing what I am doing for myself (which is working out with trainers and started a new job).

Currently, he lives in Atlanta and I am in Houston. He misses me and I miss him. I cry and he cries about us being apart.

He wants to make a decision about marrying me and struggles because he sees me gain weight when I got down. I know that I can be small and will be again for me. However, with everything that has happened with his cheating in the recent 2 months (and he did come clean on this and cried about how wrong he was to hurt us and me again) I don't know what to do at this point?

He tells me that no one can stand up to me and that he wants me, but lighter. He doesn't want to let me go because he states that I am under his skin and that he loves me. He tells me that everyone that he has cheated with does not meet up to me; and I know that he is right because I know them.

I could go on and on; but won't bore everyone.

I love him, and want to do the right thing for me and us. Advice is appreciated.

Ok, I met this newly divorced 50 year old man at a birthday party. Very random. He quickly asked for exclusivity. But, he also became angry if he called and I didn't answer or call back within 15 minutes. Yes, I was easily phone trained. I thought he needed to feel secure since his wife had left him. And it wasn't too difficult to do. First red flag.
Finally after a few months he had a melt down with his ex and two days later broke up out of the blue. He cut off communication and actually broke up in an angry text message. What gives?

Hi - I'm new here and extremely grateful I found this site. Sorry for the long post but here's my story:

Background - M and I have only been seeing each other for 6 weeks now so I'm unsure if it's appropriate to be in Uncertainty. However, I think our timing got whacked because we were at the coast 3 weeks ago skim boarding when I broke my ankle. It was very traumatic because the beach was so remote the rescue operations took about an hour and a half (no radio/cell access, a 3/4 mile hike by foot to the beach, no vehicle access, etc.). I was delirious with pain (they eventually had to give me Morphine when they finally got there) and my body went into shock. So I was feeling very vulnerable being in that state with everyone around me and my M the only source of comfort and familiarity. Afterwards, he was at the hospital with me until I was discharged. He was present while I used a bedpan!

Since then I've been pretty much bedbound. M has been very good about coming by and has taken me out a couple times (I can't be out very long though). We have been seeing each other about 2 times a week and there has been some form of contact every day. That is until yesterday (I'll get to that in a minute). I'm trying to keep in mind my current state and watching my feelings of neediness/clingyness and I'm trying not to make any discertions about our relationship until I'm back on my feet and into my normal life. TRYING! He still does the pursuing and I refrain from contacting him, usually only in response to a missed call or text.

M just finished grad school in April and has stated he put his entire social life on hold in order to do so. So now his friends are very important to him and he seems to spend a lot of time with them, anywhere from 2 to 3 days a week, depending on what's going on. M and I seem to be moving along growing closer, after which he'll pull away somewhat (for example, text messages and calls aren't as much as before but I expect that). He has shared with me some things that are going on in his life that are bothering him and opened up to me about some of his doubts and insecurities. I've met a couple of his friends and I know he's told others about me. This and other things tell me he's definitely interested. But now I'm confused.

We went out this past Friday and had a great time together. Sushi on an outdoor patio of a Japanese restaurant, followed by ice cream and hours talking together. We came back to my place and talked some more and he joked about how he doesn't like to share "everything" as he pulled me tight to him. I said something, I don't remember, which prompted him to say "oh, you wouldn't want to share me?" I said "no" and then we moved on to something else. It was all very playful. The next day he bought some very expensive boots he's been wanting and called to share with me how excited he was. That night he was to meet with some college buddies for a night at the coast for some festival. I wished him a good time and while I didn't expect to hear from him that night, I did expect to, per his usual pattern, at least by Sunday night. But Sunday night came and went with no call whatsoever. I tried not to think too much about it and figured he was probably very tired and fell asleep when he got home. It was extremely difficult to deal with however, because in 6 weeks, there has been contact every single day. I finally heard from him around 11:30 this morning by text "Hi baby. How was the rest of your weekend?" I said it was fine and asked if everything was ok (I didn't want to ask this but did anyway). He said "Yeah. Thanks for asking." So I bit the bullet and texted "ok, I'm going to be a girl here for a minute. I'm a little confused I didn't hear from you. No pressure, just curious." He responded "I wanted to call but fell asleep. Sorry." I said no worries, just curious. The truth was I was in an almost blind panic.

I would normally do things to distract myself from all this but because I'm pretty much bedbound, I can't. And I think I trauma bonded to him which is making my feelings that much more intense. Today has been an absolute emotional nightmare (hormones are not helping at all). He called me earlier and I just let it ring. I just don't feel like talking right now. This is the first time I've felt this way about him and now I feel like I'm distancing myself and questioning if he's even right for me. This is all very confusing because I was so into him. And I was feeling so good about us on Saturday, a mere 2 days ago.

Are we both in Uncertainty and if so, should I just chill a while and let things roll? Or am I completely insane?

Hi! I'd love to hear some advice...my boyfriend and i have been together now for 2years. so far ive been happy and we've been exclusive since earlyon. he's good about contacting me average of 4 days a week either calling few times a day or texting me. almost 80% of the time he contacts me first after we get together and i am receptive and return his calls when im available to. sometimes he'll ask me to call and if i do, he's pretty responsive too. we were hanging out in the weekdays and sometimes but not always on the weekends but that was increasing in frequency.

so thats the background. a couple saturdays ago, i called him and he told me he was out of town meeting a relative. i was disappointed coz i anticipated hanging out this weekend (we hadnt made any plans tho) but also surprised because this was the first i heard about it. we had just hung out 2 days before that. so on the fone, i was silent and he said he thought he had told me, etc. and i said i didnt hear anything about it. lets just say my tone of voice wasnt thrilled but i was calm when i talked to him.

now, typically i wouldnt make a big deal of it, and just let it be. but about 1 year ago, he was upset at me because i made plans to go out of town and told him 2 days prior to (at least i forewarned him!) so i mentioned this to him on the fone..that hey, didnt he get mad and want me to let him know in advance and (in my mind thinking to myself i deserved the same courtesy.)
anyways he said something about visiting her was probably a bad idea etc. maybe to make me feel better? he said he had to go but would call me later. i said ok. and that was the last i've heard from him.

now before this, on and off, he would not be in touch usually after a significant disagreement we had or rarely more randomly.

so what do you recommend? is this a situation where he didnt call when he said he wud, so i should be patient and give him space to call me? how long do you wait? before it gets to be noticeably distant? i have an urge to call, but if i call, will that push him away or is he waiting for me to call? Thanks so much!

M and I have been dating for 2 months. I briefly knew him when he was with his wife. He contacted me after being separated for a year and a half. Things have been going great but the last 2 weeks he has been distant. He left my house one sunday and didn't call for a week. I called him asking Why he has been standoffish lately. His response was he has been busy which is true. He is in transition into moving from married home into new home. Doesn't busy mean not interested???? After I mention the standoffish thang, he began text messaging me for a whole week and then called me on Thursday. We had a nice conversation but he didn't ask me out for the weekend. Then Friday at 7pm, he text me asking what I was up to. I text him back 4 hours later that I was already out having dinner and drinks downtown. I don't want to be his text message buddy. I hoping that once he gets settle in his new home and things calm down that he will want to start dating me again. How do you handle this text message crap. I don't want to be friends. I have plenty of those already. I'm trying to keep busy but this is driving me crazy and I'm sure I'm driving my friends crazy trying to figure him out. I want to ask him "Do you still want to date me". Am I allowed to do that or do I have to continue the no contact game?