Jacob said, "After reading Men are from Mars, I thought
I could go back to my wife and make things better. We had mutually decided to
end our marriage. I was convinced that through applying these new ideas we could
make it work. Theresa was not convinced."
"After many discussions we moved back in together, but still she was not
sure. I had made many mistakes for a lot of years and she wasn't convinced that
I could change. It took about six months but gradually she warmed up and started
to trust me. Although I didn't like having to wait that long, rebuilding the
trust helped me solidify what I needed to learn about relationships."
"My problem was that I wanted things on my terms. I thought her terms
were unreasonable. When she was upset about something or just less than friendly
and positive, I would go to my cave and pout. I would withhold my love for days;
then, once I was out of my cave, I would behave as if nothing had happened.
Repeatedly she was left feeling incomplete. We would argue, I would walk out,
and then nothing would be said again."
"Her unwillingness to trust me forced me to prove to her that I could
do it differently. I realized that when things didn't go my way I would just
shut down and behave in an uncaring way. After learning about Mars and Venus,
I still shut down and withdrew to my cave, but now, when I come out, I am very
attentive, affectionate, and I will open up the conversation again and take
the time to understand and validate her point of view."
"With this new insight into why she mistrusted me, I was able to show
her through my actions that I cared. She was able to gradually open up and love
me again. We are so happy today and it feels great knowing I have the power
to keep it that way."
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