Learning to understand the Martian need to go into his cave can be an emotional challenge for many women. Female readers at MarsVenus.com tell us that they intellectually understand why a man needs to go to his cave, but that it feels awful. Before a relationship can feel truly fulfilling to a woman, she needs to learn how to make peace with this very necessary male behavior.
When a man is upset or stressed, he will automatically stop talking and go to his “cave.” No one else is allowed in that cave, not even his best friends. This does not mean that there is a problem in the relationship; it simply means that he has a problem he is trying to solve and he isn’t ready to talk about it, or ask for help. In fact, asking for help is the last thing a man in his cave would do because he is in there trying to solve the problem on his own. Remember, male self-esteem is based in part on his ability to solve problems, and accomplish the things necessary to be a good man, good husband, and/or good father. Once he has enough time to either come to a solution, or he realizes that he needs assistance, he will come out.
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