Problem solving is different on Mars and Venus. Men tend to misunderstand women's relationship oriented problem solving style because they judge them according to the Martian ethos of : Doing it on your own. So if Beth is working on an assignment she might come into to her boss Jim's office.
On Venus it is important to share and discuss problems and then ask what the other person thinks. It helps make the other person feel included. So Beth does just that. She describes to Jim the problems with the project and asks Jim what he thinks she should do. Jim offers her his answer. Beth agrees that it is a good answer and leaves. Beth thinks that she has been a good collaborative person.
Jim on the other hand thinks something different. On Mars collaboration is not a big deal. It is much better to do things on your own. As a manager if you give a task to someone it is much better for that person to solve the problem and give the Martian boss the answer. Jim thinks that he provided the answer very easily. Why couldn't Beth come up with on her own? Perhaps she is not as smart or effective as he thought she was.
In fact Beth already knew the answer. She was just being collaborative. So what should Beth do differently? Here are the guidelines
1) Refrain from talking to Martian supervisors about problems unless you have at least one possible solution. If you really do need help, let the supervisor know what you have tried to date and then ask for the help you need.
2) If you are presenting problems/ideas to a manager do not ask his opinion first. Instead give your solution and your reasoning, and just let him approve it.
3) In the case of having several different possible solutions, present all of them right up front, with your pick (if you have one). The Martian can pick which solution he likes best.
