Problem solving
is different on Mars and Venus. Men tend to misunderstand women's relationship
oriented problem solving style because they judge them according to the
Martian ethos of : Doing it on your own. So if Beth is working on an assignment
she might come into to her boss Jim's office.
On Venus it is
important to share and discuss problems and then ask what the other person
thinks. It helps make the other person feel included. So Beth does just
that. She describes to Jim the problems with the project and asks Jim what
he thinks she should do. Jim offers her his answer. Beth agrees that it
is a good answer and leaves. Beth thinks that she has been a good collaborative
person.
Jim on the other
hand thinks something different. On Mars collaboration is not a big deal.
It is much better to do things on your own. As a manager if you give a task
to someone it is much better for that person to solve the problem and give
the Martian boss the answer. Jim thinks that he provided the answer very
easily. Why couldn't Beth come up with on her own? Perhaps she is not as
smart or effective as he thought she was.
In fact Beth
already knew the answer. She was just being collaborative. So what should
Beth do differently? Here are the guidelines
1) Refrain from
talking to Martian supervisors about problems unless you have at least one
possible solution. If you really do need help, let the supervisor know what
you have tried to date and then ask for the help you need.
2) If you are
presenting problems/ideas to a manager do not ask his opinion first. Instead
give your solution and your reasoning, and just let him approve it.
3) In the case
of having several different possible solutions, present all of them right
up front, with your pick (if you have one). The Martian can pick which solution
he likes best.
