ADHD | ADD - Part 3 Ending Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

John Gray

In the past, many people believed symptoms of ADHD commonly go away as we move out of childhood and into adulthood. I have observed the opposite in my clients. In childhood, ADHD shows up in more obvious ways but as our brains continue to develop and our coping skills increase, the condition causing ADHD in childhood continues on, often unacknowledged but inhibiting our potential for personal fulfillment.

Life Stages with ADHD

Here are some of the new challenges caused by ADHD at six major stages of brain development and maturity:

Stage 1 Children experience different degrees of trauma related to learning and behavior challenges.

Stage 2 Teens experience new social challenges including isolation, bullying, body image, obesity and addictions. While violence and video addiction is increasing in boys, girls are experiencing more body image problems and bullying. Boys experience late puberty and girls experience early puberty.

Stage 3 Young adults experience a failure to launch, increasing depression, anxiety and an inability to commit in relationships. Girls complain boys are unwilling to make commitments and some boys report girls are too sexually aggressive.

Stage 4 Adults experience an increasing inability to manage stress levels, which in turn leads to dissatisfaction in relationships, overwhelm, exhaustion and divorce.

Stage 5 At midlife, aging adults face some version of the “midlife crisis” which includes boredom in relationships, depression based on regret, and/or boredom with work and a longing to quit and retire.

Stage 6 Elders today experience unprecedented levels of modern diseases that were previously not common including diabetes, heart disease, cancer, Parkinson’s disease, dementia and Alzheimer’s disease.

At each stage, if ADHD is not healed it continues on in new and different ways. The childhood symptoms shift into teenage symptoms and so on. The symptoms of each stage remain to some degree but are overlooked or suppressed as new coping mechanisms emerge.

I know what you are thinking. This just sounds like life, but it's more than that. It's the new life and it's not a healthy path to be going down. 

Below are the most common coping mechanisms for ADHD that I describe in more detail in my book, Staying Focused In A Hyper World.

When ADHD is not recognized, we can easily delude ourselves and become addicted to our coping mechanisms. Many drug addictions are coping mechanisms to minimize the symptoms of ADHD.

These coping mechanisms cause us to gradually disconnect from our ability to know our true feelings. We lose focus on what is most important in life and as a result we give importance to what is not really important.

The 7 Most Common Coping Mechanisms

This is the list of the seven most common coping mechanisms that people use to self-medicate the symptoms of ADHD:

1. Pornography, excessive masturbation and all substance abuse.

2. Constant short-term relationships and an inability to commit to long-term loving relationships.

3. Dramatic increase in obesity due to increased consumption processed junk foods and sugar products.

4. Dramatic increase in caffeine consumption. Ironically, excessive caffeine consumption leads to chronic fatigue, which in turn leads to increased caffeine consumption.

5. The massive use of drugs like Viagra and Cialis to sustain an erection in a committed relationship. The downregulation of dopamine receptors in ADHD causes millions of adults to lose interest in their partners. When their partners are no longer new or novel their interest and attraction goes away.

6. Men become overly engaged in their work and lose focus on their partners.

7. Women become overly focused on the needs of others and become overwhelmed feeling like there is no time for themselves.

Recognizing how we avoid the pain, boredom, lack of focus and procrastination associated with ADHD, frees us to begin the journey of true self-discovery, authentic self-reflection and the expression of our inner genius potential.

In this video series, I suggest many natural solutions for helping children and adults with ADHD symptoms. 


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  • John Gray
     10/21/2014 11:51:39 AM
    Thank you Callmar. Big Pharma has started their attacks on me through other ADHD authors that promote drugs like concerta and ritalin. I could use your support to spread the word. Please leave a positive review and vote Yes for 5-star reviews on here -
  • John Gray
     10/21/2014 11:49:43 AM
    Hi LJxoxo - excessive use of lithium may cause weight gain but, honestly, i have never heard of this with anyone using it. I have taken 1-4 lithium orotate a day for over 10 years and i haven't gained weight...i just know it helps.
  • Callmar
     10/17/2014 12:28:33 AM
    Dr. Gray, This level of information is exceptionally revealing. As parents today consider stopping the insanity some of my cases describe with their child, there is hardly any information in alopathic medical approaches for them that even touch on the consequences of ongoing medications offered that affect later life. Parents are often led to to believe that there are no other options. Thankfully, this is not the case and I am grateful to forward this vital information. Marlene/Life Strategist.
  • LJxoxo
     10/14/2014 11:14:57 PM
    I was not concerned about Lithium orotate until I heard that it causes weight gain, which is the last thing I need ,,,dr. Gray what do you think about that? Thx Laura
  • DrMolly
     11/1/2013 7:54:23 PM
    Dr. Gray, Excellent information in this series. I agree with you based on my clinical experience as a psychotherapist. Dr. Molly Barrow

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