Do Long Distance Relationships Ever Work?

John Gray

Hi John -

I read your book Mars and Venuation.

I live in New York but I am dating a guy or 1 week each month for work. It's always an amazing week together.

This has been going have been exclusive for the past 3 months. It's getting scary.

He grew up on the West Coast and STRON

Do long distanand for how long?

Thank you so much!


Hi Lisa-

Thank you for writing in. I reming more common. Although, distance may make the heart grow fonder, it doesn't make dating and relationships any easier.

It sounds like you are at the "Uncertainty a man and he will distance himself from her. This is mainly because he isn't sure himself and doesn't want the pressure of having to decide yet.

I will be honest with you...I don't think this long distancent for a loving, long-term relationship - and that is intimacy.

He does not want to move to New York and yo

Watch my video to hear what I think is the ide

Grow in l,

John Gay

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  • Venetia72
     11/22/2015 12:09:18 AM
    Ok, I agree with John Gray to a degree as I am the living proof that long distance relationships can work, given that both parties are BRUTALLY & TRUTHFULLY honest with each others need and wants. Both my husband & I lived in different cities and had no intentions of moving. He hated my city and I loathed his. So we decided if we wanted to be together we needed to move elsewhere, a place we would never have imagined, somewhere NEUTRAL. I was petrified when I fist moved, I mean the place we moved to was a small city, boring to a degree. I thought I was going to have an anxiety attack from the stress but I stuck it through because I love my husband and believe in us. Fast forward 2 years after the long distance relationship and we bought out first home and struggled with work etc... in a new place as people do with crappy jobs. However we stuck through the hard times and the times we had no money. Believe it or not we never fought about money, it wasn't an issue, I think we had a strong bond and my mother says its rare for a couple to be so in love after 16 years of marriage! No one believes me when I say we were once broke, as we now have a business that brings in 7 figures annually and we live an amazing life. Our love grows more each year and I never thought that jumping off that cliff into the unknown abyss of life would be set us on the most amazing journey of our lives. My husband says that its all due to me believing and trusting in him being the provider, but I know its because of US. We believe in each other, support one another through every decision and never go to bed angry. We don't fight, but we are both opinionated stubborn donkeys and there is always a solution. We make each other laugh and know that this life is a fleeting one and we intend to make the most of it with each other. All I wish for is another lifetime as this one isn't long enough! To all the people out there in this situation; I would say "...
  • Andilla
     11/15/2015 11:15:44 PM
    Thank you John for this video. I am experiencing exactly what you say at 3:00, what happens when the man is not in a place where he can be successful. My ex-partner is a successful businessman, yet struggling because he got stuck in a country where he doesn't want to be any more, since years. He gets periodically depressed and stressed out because of that, and such a period crashed and eventually killed our relationship that has started out wonderful: for a good while, it seemed that we had found our perfect mate in each other. The other thing you say about women wanting to settle down after a while: so true. We live in the same city, only 20 minutes walk from each other but we were together only for the weekends, for 1.5 years. His excuse for not moving in together was money - which is silly because we would have actually saved money by doing so. And those weekends were much more than just sex: soon enough we were almost like a married couple. But to have this happy state only in the weekends for such a long time, didn't satisfy my needs of intimacy, communication, caring and being cared for. How can you SHARE YOUR LIFE with your partner, if you don't live together? So I was just about ready to do this take away technique you mention at the end - but apparently I have waited for too long with that, because our relationship ended in a negative way... And right now my heart is broken... ...
  • Guest_76E8AD12-C
     11/9/2015 10:01:16 AM
    thank you John! but... what if the man I am seeing is a PILOT!? that is his life. he leaves for a couple of weeks. is home for a couple of weeks. we do not live together, nor do we live in the same town (3 hours driving distance away). is the life of a pilot just doomed as far as relationships are concerned? as there is NO WAY to create any sort of consistency... :/

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