How Do I Get Her Back?

John Gray

The number one question I receive from men is "How do I get her back?"

My response is always the same: "How did you lose her?"

You can only get her back if you can truly reflect on what you said and did that was wrong. Because if you lost her and you love her and you want her back, you will need to learn where you failed along the way with her the first time.

Maybe you cheated on her. Maybe you yelled at her. Maybe you ignored her. Many guys break up with women and then begin to regret it and want her back. Simply, they didn't know what they had until it was gone.

The key to winning her back is to go in with 100% accountability. If you want to open her heart up again, you have to give her reassurance that you understand how you contributed to the problems in the relationship and you know how you are going to change yourself to make it up to her. You must convey to her that you know how to give her the support and caring she deserve.

So how do you prove to her that you have learned how to love her? Use my name. Tell her you have read Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus (and I suggest you do if you have got this far). You have to go to an authority outside of yourself. This is the only way that she will believe you have changed for the better because she already feels that you don't know what you are doing.

As you go through my relationship materials, you need to make a list of all the new insights you have gained and want to use in a new relationship with her. The more you have learned, the more she is willing to trust you.

After you have compiled your list, reach out to her. This may be a phone call, email, letter, text or even a private message on Facebook. Tell her you are devastated and still love her. Tell her you realize the mistakes you made to sabotage the relationship and you want to learn from this to be a better person. Tell her you really want a loving relationship in the future and you really want it to be with her. But if she is not interested, then you want it to end in a beautiful way where you can apologize for your mistakes.

If she decides to give you another chance, there will be a testing period in the beginning. This is not only an important time to show her the changes you have made, but to prove it to yourself. You need to be very careful about not slipping back into your old habits in the relationship.

If she doesn't want you back or it ends up not working out, you will now have the insights and knowledge so that you don't make the same mistakes in the next relationship you enter.

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  • eg123
     6/8/2013 3:03:05 PM
    What about getting him back? I suggested us taking time apart to grow separately before we could ever grow together because we were fighting a lot and we didn't know why. He didn't know what to do but I suggested this time apart.. he took it as breaking up I guess.. but we both said we wanted us to work and we were doing this because we wanted to work out in the end not the other way around.. after reading your book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.. I realized exactly why we were fighting all of the time... we are currently not talking because we are "broken up" and taking space we've barely been on this break for a week... I'm not sure how long or when to contact him or how to explain to him i know what went wrong and to get him back....

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