My Husband Cheated On Me. Will I Feel Better If I Cheat On Him?

John Gray

Hi John -

My husband of eight years was unfaithful and I feel that cheating on him will make me feel better. How would this affect the relationship? Thank you in advance.

I thank God for your work,


Hi Betzaida,

Revenge is never a good choice when you have been hurt by someone. Two wrongs don't make one right. Likewise, an eye for an eye and you both lose your sight.

Revenge, or getting even, is a primitive form of communication. You really should elevate your choice to talking about your feelings.

When you are able to tell your feelings to the person who hurt you and feel that you have been heard, you are able to release the pain. This helps you move towards forgiveness.

Forgiveness is what we should all strive towards when we have been hurt or wrong by someone, especially our spouse or partner. If you have been hurt and then you decide to hurt your partner, where does it leave you? Both feeling hurt.

Watch my video to hear my advice for moving past infidelity or an affair in your relationship.

Grow in love,


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  • Erin1028
     1/11/2015 2:41:59 PM
    Hi John, My situation is pretty complicated. Ive been married to my husband for 10 years. In my ninth year I confessed to infidelity to my husband after he had been asking if I had stepped out on him previously and I lied and said I had not but feeling guilty I told him on 11/14/13. I told him I had the affair with my ex in which I cheated on my husband previously when he was incarcerated. My husband was very angry and now believes that I've been cheating the whole marriage, which isn't true. I explained to him that I gave him warning signs and he choose to ignore them, but he didn't want to hear it. He left home and said that he no longer wanted to be with me. I then found out that before my confession, he had started seeing a lady 15 yrs younger than him from a sugar daddy online site. 2 months later he came to me saying that he had a change of heart and wanted to work things out but he wasn't giving her up. He even moved her into one of his investment properties. Wanting to save my marriage I decided to go along with it because I didn't think it would last, however it did. It didn't come to an end supposedly until I caught an STD from him in April of 2014. I argued for him to evict her from the property and he refused by saying that I was trying to control him and he does what he wants to. He didn't give her an eviction notice until June/2014 and she didn't leave until Oct/2014, he told me he put her in another property that was being sold, but I found out that he moved her and her 3 year old into a hotel and he has been footing the bill. I'm so angry because since October/2014 I assumed that she was no longer in the picture because he and I had been spending a lot of time together. I just couldn't see how he could have been spending time with anyway. I decided to go snooping because I had an intuition that something was going on because the Holy Spirit would awaken me saying "open up your eyes" so on Ne

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