The Feeling Letter: How To Resolve Conflict With A Loved One

John Gray

In my previous blog,How To Communicate Difficult Feelings To A Loved One, I explained My Feeling Letter Technique. The Feeling Letter process is one of the best ways to release negative feelings towards someone while sharing your feelings with them in a positive way.

If you haven't viewed that blog, you should first, so you can better understand this blog post.


Step 2: Writing The Response Letter

Once you have expressed your negative and positive feelings, a Response Letter can be a healing process. In this letter, you will write the kind of response you would like to hear back.

Include all the things you would like to hear back. Start with phrases like "Thank you for..." or "I understand" or simply, "I am sorry."
Sometimes writing a Response Letter is even more powerful than writing a Feeling Letter because writing out what we want and need increases our openness to receiving the support we deserve.

Step 3: Sharing Your Feeling Letter And Response Letter

Sharing your letters is important for the following reasons because the other person an opportunity to understand you and support you. It also gives respectful feedback to that person and motivates the relationship to be more positive. It also simply encourages communication when communication has broken down.

Sometimes when someone hears a Feeling Letter, that person only hears the anger. It may help to let that person reread the letter or even let that person stop the conversation and respond later.

It's important that person knows that it's OK to walk away to better understand and think about things for a while. You could even encourage that person to write their own letter back to you for the next conversation.

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