My #1 Relationship Mistake (and the rule that changed everything for me)
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My #1 Relationship Mistake (and the 'rule' that changed everything for me)

Lauren Gray


My #1 Relationship Mistake
 
I had an unusual childhood. My dad was the number one self-help author of all time and the world's leading relationship expert. I was a kid who ate dinner to the tune of gender and relationship discussions and boy, did I learn a lot.  So when I first started dating, I assumed I had it all figured out.
                  
It’s safe to say I was W R O N G.
 
I had several relationships that started wonderfully. My boyfriends would make me endlessly happy, and I was more than willing to allow them to be the source of my joy.  But each time I would become so dependent on their love and attention that I became needy for my next fix. The high never lasted. I spent more time feeling disappointed, frustrated and hurt than anything else.
 
It got to the point where I gave up on love entirely. I found my independence and it felt safe. I was single for 6 years.
 
But the truth was I missed being in love. I wanted that kind of happiness again. But I wanted it to last.
 
I needed to find a way to be in a relationship where ALL my needs were met – independence and intimacy, confidence and trust, strength and vulnerability. That way I could open my heart to a partner, receive love, even depend on it and never lose my strength and well-being in the process.
 
That was the ticket! But I didn’t know how to make it happen until I remembered something my dad had taught me years ago and I finally recognized my mistake.
 
 
The Relationship “Rule” that changed it all
 
My dad taught me that “In order to have a successful relationship 90% of your happiness has to come from you. Your partner can only contribute 10% of your happiness.”
 
He calls it The 90/10 Rule.
 
BAM. That’s when I saw my mistake clearly for the first time. I was used to swinging from one extreme to the other: looking for a relationship to fulfill 100% of my happiness to then giving up on a partner to meet my deeper emotional needs entirely.
 
At that point, I made it my sole mission to discover how to practically apply The 90/10 Rule and literally within 2 weeks, I attracted my life partner Glade and we’ve been growing in love for 7 years.
 
Speaking of extremes…
 
 
Ladies ONLY: Are you a "Venus in Pink" or a "Venus in Blue?"
 
There are two extremes we tend to move to and it creates our own set of problems in relationships. For clarity I’ve named them:
 
Venus in Blue
Taps more into her masculine side.  She's used to marching to the beat of her own drum, prefers to do things on her own, and hates asking for help. She's a little bit of a type A personality and has an intensity that sometimes scares men away.  She often feels overworked and burnt out taking care of everything and everyone. She wishes her partner would do more to contribute and make things easier.
 
OR
 
Venus in Pink
Taps more into her feminine side.  She hates spending time without her special guy, she doesn't enjoy indulging in alone time, and she finds herself rattled when her guy wants time without her. She feels needy and dissatisfied, wishing her partner would initiate more romance and stop acting so distant and indifferent.

If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably experienced both of these from time to time. I learned a ton from my dad over the years but it wasn’t until I discovered how to apply The 90/10 Rule that I was able to find my own blend of feel-good purple.
 
And I’d like to help you do the same.
 
 
2 steps to create and grow a successful relationship
 
Whether you identify more with Blue, Pink or a mix of both, the job for every woman who wants a successful relationship is this:
 
1. Learn how to fulfill yourself and find your happy. 90% of your happiness needs to come from you.
 
2. Learn how to get your needs met effectively from a man so that he can feel successful and you can finally feel satisfied. If you want a successful relationship, 10% of your happiness needs to come from him.
 
Here’s the kicker: The 10% he contributes is dependent upon the 90% you generate for yourself.
 
You need to become, what I call, a “Me-Timer:” a woman who gets the kind of “me-time” she needs to generate 90% of her happiness and fulfillment. Because only SHE has the skills to use relationship tools effectively, only SHE has the power to motivate her partner to give her all the love she wants, thus creating the necessary We-Time for both partners to thrive in intimacy and lasting attraction.
 
 
How to become a “Me-Timer” and make The 90/10 Rule work for you!
 
90/10 is a great ideal to strive for but until you can practically apply it, it’s not worth much.
 
That’s why I developed a step-by-step system to become a “Me-Timer.” It’s called The You-We-Me-Time ® System, and by following these steps, you develop the relationship skills and power you need to implement The 90/10 Rule so you can feel great in a relationship!
 
I teach women how to do this in a transformational online course called How to Get More Me-Time which just closed it's enrollment.
 
However, if you want to learn how to become a Me-Timer and make The 90/10 Rule work for you, start HERE with a free guide.
 
You’ll get a jump start on your Me-Timer training and get an exclusive invitation to join the program when the doors open for enrollment again.
 
 
With love,
Lauren


If you know someone who would appreciate these insights (ANY woman who struggles in love and deserves more happiness and fulfillment) please use the social sharing buttons and share this post with them. Xo.

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