The top 5 relationship efforts that give you even more in return.
Happy Valentines Day/Week!
Newsfeeds will be full of picture perfect couples – getting engaged, flashing new jewelry, bouquets of flowers, etc. And I think it’s great that these men and women get to bask in the romantic glow of their partner’s loving attention on this special day.
But great relationships can’t survive on Valentine’s Day efforts alone. A great relationship needs to be fed with loving attention every day.
Does that sound exhausting?
Let me make this super clear: We’re not meant to be bottomless pits of love and energy. That’s not realistic. This is about channeling your energy effectively so that the love and energy you give, gives back to you…so you have even more to give and the cycle feeds itself.
This is less about big extravagant gestures and more about how you relate to each other on a daily basis; small choices you make to support a relationship that will support you in return. Makes sense?
To show you what I mean I’m sharing with you the top 5 relationship efforts Glade and I make that give us even more in return.
Relationship Effort #1.
I only give what I can give with love. If I feel pushed, pressured, or resentful – I say No. My partner deeply appreciates this about me because I never hold my choices against him. I take responsibility for my own happiness and he loves this about me. He returns the favor and I am grateful. When we give with love, each act of generosity inspires even more generosity.
Learn more about this relationship tool here.
Relationship Effort #2.
When one of us accidently steps in it and the other feels defensive, rather than stew in justifications for those upset feelings, turn a cold shoulder, or act out, we practice gratitude to open our hearts to each other so we can receive the love that will heal the hurt.
Learn more about how to open your heart to each other here.
Relationship Effort #3.
We honor “hold buttons.” Let me explain: When a conversation gets heated, rather than pursue the subject, we put it on hold. We know that repeating our feelings/points/arguments will only lead to a destructive fight so we trust that by taking a break we can come back together later and have a more loving and productive conversation.
Learn more about “hold buttons” and how they can work for you here.
Relationship Effort #4.
When my partner disappoints me, let’s me down, or makes a mistake, rather than rub it in his face, I choose to find the loving intention that is always there and focus on that. By focusing on the love I give him the message that he is enough. This small act of love (choosing to focus on the good, not the mistake) makes him feel loved, which automatically makes him feel more loving and he has more to give to me. My partner extends the same effort to me when I make a mistake and he receives the same loving return on investment.
Learn how to “focus on the love” so you can turn lemons into lemonade here.
Relationship Effort #5.
Every now and then I’ll lose attraction to my partner.
OMG did she just say that out loud on the internet?!!!!
Yes I did. Because I know something most people don’t. It’s totally NORMAL to temporarily lose attraction to your partner! This is not a sign that the relationship is in a state of emergency. It’s not even a big deal. It just means your attraction hormones aren’t in balance.
When I lose attraction, it’s simply a sign that I need to take more Me-Time. A hike with a girlfriend, an hour playing with the dog, an evening binge-watching “This Is Us” and the next day you have to peel me off my partner I’m so drawn to him. For me it's such a quick turn-around because I also make sure I get regular Me-Time in my life. My partner does the same.
This small effort of self-care pays our sex life back in dividends.
Learn how taking space from each other can bring you even closer together here.
There you go. My Valentine’s day gift to you: The top 5 relationship efforts that give you even more in return! I hope they help you enjoy your relationships even more.
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