As much as any couple may avoid fighting, the truth is, one minute you may feel great passion, and the next you’re contemplating divorce. Many times, we think arguments occur because our partner’s behavior needs to change. Unfortunately, it’s usually not about them.

Arguing with your wife or husband is not a bad thing as long as you are not berating and hating your each other. Heated discussions can help bring issues to the surface and can encourage both parties to take ac...

Hi John -

My husband of eight years was unfaithful and I feel that cheating on him will make me feel better. How would this affect the relationship? Thank you in advance.

I thank God for your work,

Betzaida


Hi Betzaida,

Revenge is never a good choice when you have been hurt by someone. Two wrongs don't make one right. Likewise, an eye for an eye and you both lose your sight.

Revenge, or getting even, is a primitive form of communication. You really should ele...

Dear John-

I just had a 3-day war with my husband who has started a fly-in, fly-out job in the mining industry (1 month on and one week at home).He started to drink at night and not tell me about it. We had a deal at the beginning of our relationship that he wouldn’t drink because it led to fights. So when I found out he was drinking again, I got hurt and upset.

I know it’s not big drinking – 5-6 beers when once a week when he is out with his coworkers. The problem is...

Hi John-

My husband moved out 3 weeks ago. He said he couldn't take my depression and insecurities and the arguing anymore.

We have a 7 year old daughter who has a life-limiting condition. He says he will always be there for her but not for me.

I am devastated beyond words. I can't eat or sleep. I am off work. I have tried to engage with my husband but he keeps saying that I am not his responsibility.

How can I get him to talk to me?

I have bought 3 of your books...

Dear John,

I met my husband through an online dating site in October. I live in the Phillipines and he is a Filipino who grew up in Canada. He is divorced with no kids and I was never married before we met.

After 3 months of chatting online, he came to visit me in the Philippines. When he came, he met my family and asked permission from my father for us to get married. My father agreed. So we got married during his visit here in the Philippines.

A day after we got married, he flew...

A man cannot make a woman happy. He can only make her happier.

I still believe a woman is like a wave. When she is feeling really good and loved, she will reach a peak as her self-esteem rises and falls in a wave motion. But then suddenly her mood may change and her wave crashes down. Luckily, this crash is temporary. When she reaches bottom, her wave begins to rise back up as her mood shifts towards feeling good about herself again.

A woman's ability to give and receive love in he...

Yes, I wrote it. Your partner cannot make you happy.

He or she can make you happier, but he or she cannot make you happy. Your happiness comes from within you. It's based on your own self-love. Your partner provides the dessert to make you feel better than you ever knew but they do not form your happiness.

Many people misread their partner's actions as a sign of the mood they are in. Men naturally need to pull away to rebuild their testosterone and relieve stress. Women need to...