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You're a real catch but here's why women aren't interested.

Dear Lauren,

I’m a good-looking guy, so I know my looks are not the problem. But every time I try talking to a girl, getting close to a girl, or try to take “dating” to the next level, it never works out. I’m a funny guy, fairly wise, very goal oriented, and I’m very social. But the bottom line is, I’m just not very good with “relationships” or dating in general. Can you help give me a clue on how to be more successful with the ladies?

&n...

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The top 5 relationship efforts that give you even more in return.


Happy Valentines Day/Week!
Newsfeeds will be full of picture perfect couples – getting engaged, flashing new jewelry, bouquets of flowers, etc. And I think it’s great that these men and women get to bask in the romantic glow of their partner’s loving attention on this special day.

But great relationships can’t survive on Valentine’s Day efforts alone. A great relationship needs to be fed with loving attention every day.

Does that sound exhaustin...

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A simple exercise to open your heart to each other no matter what.



Gratitude practice has become a popular path to experiencing more happiness and fulfillment in life. But you may be surprised to know how “gratitude” can help your relationship as well.

Most of our dissatisfaction in life comes from looking at what we don’t have, at the absence of something we want.

I want my partner to listen to me and he doesn’t.
I want my partner to let me watch my show in peace and she doesn’t.
I want my partner to be affecti...

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'When I'm upset, he just makes it worse!' How couples can communicate better and without all the drama.

Dear Lauren,

I don't feel comfortable talking to my boyfriend when I feel sad, because what's the point? He doesn't give me his full attention. And he gets really disturbed that I get angrier the longer he “listens.” It just seems like he doesn't know what to do or what to say. He's stuck in fix it mode.

I don't want our relationship to end, but it bothers him when I'm upset and can't talk about it. I’ve given up and don’t talk an...

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3 easy ways to immediately improve communication with your partner.

Hey Lauren!

Me and my boyfriend have been together for two years. The first year was bliss, the second year was also bliss but with some insecurities thrown in. The one thing I have been insecure about recently is that I feel that my boyfriend and I don't talk enough. Does this mean he isn't right for me? Can we improve our communication? Is he getting bored with me? PLEASE HELP.

-Holly

Hey Holly,

Is it the END?

Right now, you are taking this silent treatment as ...

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Why men pull away after sex (and what you can do about it!)

Hi Lauren,

I’m friends with this guy and we really get along. Last week we somehow ended up in bed together. It felt comfortable and natural. What’s bothering me now is that he’s been acting differently towards me ever since. He used to text me all the time and now he never texts me unless I text him first. He seems like he isn’t interested in maintaining our relationship anymore and I’m not sure why. We had fun. Why is he acting so different?

-Sonia

...

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Stumped at being dumped? The real reason you're single.

Dear Lauren,

My ex-girlfriend said that she did not love me nor was she attracted to me. But we were together for six months! She made the first move on our first date, she would always initiate PDA's: kissing, touching, even arousing me in cabs, restaurants, the park... She expressed interest in sex but we never went through with it. But tell me, how is it that you can get so close to someone physically and claim to have neither attraction nor feelings? I am still nursing my broken hea...

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How to support your partner when they have a bad day (It's not what you think!)

Dear Lauren,

When something upsets my boyfriend or when anything upsets me, we feel responsible for each other. For example, if he gets upset about some incident, I feel guilty like it is somehow my fault when in fact I had nothing to do with it! It’s the same with him, if he sees me upset, he feels down. What do we do in this case? Is this normal?

-Carrie

Dear Carrie,

I think it is totally normal! It’s natural for human beings, no matter what their gender, to suf...

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How to say 'I love you' first (without freaking out your partner)

Dear Lauren,

So I told my boyfriend I loved him for the first time and he got really weird after that. Why does he think that saying I love you means "Lets get married" and a major commitment? Not simply, I love you, which is how I meant it.

-Chiara

Asking the RIGHT question

Hi Chiara! Great question.In fact, I love it! You know why?

Most people ask the question, “When should you say I love you in a relationship?” Or even, “Who should say I lo...

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How to get rid of his 'bad habits' and live together in bliss.

Dear Lauren,

I love your blogs. They’ve helped me so much. My question is: my boyfriend moved in with me about two months ago. Both of us have been living on our own for more than 10 years, and for me, I get upset when I see his bad-living-together habits creeping into my space. How do I keep it at a minimum without making living with me miserable for him? Thank you Lauren for your advice!! Xxoo.

- Natasha

Hi Natasha!

Great question. I remember when I moved in with my p...

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Your guide to relationships without 'labels'

Hey Lauren,

I've been involved with someone for about 6 months and when I say involved we are not boyfriend/girlfriend but we spend a good amount of time together and we are having sex. She's a full time student and doesn’t have a lot of free time. I'm just working right now so I have more free time than her. Lately, with finals coming up and school being crucial right now, I haven't seen her in almost 3 weeks. I'm fine with time apart, totally fine, as long as I k...

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What 'Leave me alone' ACTUALLY means in a relationship.


“Leave me alone!” doesn’t mean
what you think it means.
When it comes to a man, the words “Leave me alone,” mean one thing only. Leave him the heck alone or face the fire-breathing dragon.

No mystery.

No intrigue.

No dance steps.

It means exactly what it says.

But when it comes to a woman, this phrase is slightly more nuanced and can mean more than one thing.

(It’s not fair but it’s true.)

This leaves most...

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Why Valentine's Day is just like going to the Dentist.


Why is Valentine’s Day like going to the Dentist? Why would I imply such a detestable thing when I’m a lover of love and I teach relationships for a living?

Great questions.

I have NOTHING against Valentine’s Day. I LOVE Valentine's Day! But maybe not for the reasons you think. I don’t love Valentine’s Day because it’s a day where we practice romance and buy things for each other and say, “I love you.”

I love Valentine's D...

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Do you ever feel needy? Your problem might be the solution.

Dear Lauren,

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 ½ years. Everything is great until he pulls away, he either wants to be alone or he wants to spend time with his friends. Every time he pulls away, I get super needy. I tell him I need him to stay home, I need him to listen to me, I need his attention.

I know I should let him to go out and be a “cool” girlfriend but I can’t help it. I just go into demanding crying mode and I need him to care more. He gets...

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He cheated on me. How can I move on and make this relationship work?

The blog was originally posted in August 2013 as “How to turn a cheater into a loyal and monogamous partner.” The video is vintage Ask Lauren and the blog itself has been edited and updated.

Hi Lauren,

I’ve been married for 25 years. In the past 15 years my husband has had two affairs. He says he is glad I saved our marriage and that he wants to make this work, but how do I know his words and feelings are genuine? How do I know that he truly loves me and that he&...

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3 love hacks to SAVE your long distance relationship.

Dear Lauren,

I want to understand my boyfriend and save my long distance relationship. I’m not sure if I want to be with him, because sometimes I think I can’t live without him, and sometimes I don’t want to deal with his ignorant behavior. He doesn’t even text me or call me. When I ask him why he doesn’tpay attention to me, he says he’s busy and he forgets. Frankly, I don’t feel like I’m asking too much. I don’t want to run after him, I...

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Are you a nightmare to be with and you don't even realize it?! Cuz I was.

This blog was originally posted October 24th, 2014.
Are you a nightmare to be with and you don’t even realize it?

Some of the greatest villians of all time have been two faced. Jekyll and Hyde. Norman Bates. Harvey Dent and Two Face.

Why are these characters so consistently compelling?

Because “evil” is surface scary - slasher-film scary - but a person you love and trust turning on you with an evil side?

That’s real drama. That’s horrifyin...

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The SECRET to my great relationship.

Celebrating five years since I “fell on his face”

My partner, Glade, and I just got back from Napa, California where we celebrated our 5 year anniversary.

FYI - We’re not married. We celebrated the 5 out-of-this-world-amazing years since I drunkenly “fell on his face.”

Let me explain.

Six years ago we were JUST friends. We’d go hiking, we’d go out to breakfast, we were in a few musical theater shows together. We were pals. That&r...

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3 Secrets to Stop Attracting Mr. Wrong

Dear Lauren,

For a long time now, I have been seeing a man that only wants sex from me. This seems to be a pattern for me. Can a woman do something unconsciously to attract this type of man even though she wants a whole life relationship?

-Kate

Dear Kate,

Absolutely she can! And I’ll tell you how. But first I want to teach you the formula to break A pattern, before we dive in to breaking YOUR pattern.

Step #1: See through the excuses and justifications and acknowle...

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How to deal with a jealous boyfriend

*This blog was originally posted in February 2014. It has been edited and updated.*

Dear Lauren,
Two months into my relationship, my boyfriend looked through all my text messages while I was sleeping. He found an old one from my ex. Three months later he went through all my emails and found a few from male friends. I have an extremely suspicious boyfriend.I have explained everything to him but he calls me deceitful, a liar, and untrustworthy.

I was outside at a party with a bunch of ...



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