The Most Important Relationship

Most people experience problems in their relationships, and life for that matter, because they don't love themselves.

I know that sounds like a broad statement but it's true. Once you stop loving yourself, you create space for hating yourself.

Love is a cycle that can grow stronger if it is supported...

The more you love yourself, the greater freedom you feel to express yourself. The more you express yourself, the easier it is for people to appreciate the real you and not ...

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How to Have More Sex and Less Porn in Your Relationship

I was interviewd in the video above by Leana Greene, CEO of Kids In The House.

Kids In The House is an educational website devoted to parenting. Below are the questions and my answers.

Q: Dr. Gray, my question for you is, how do you get your wife's sex drive back, and how can you keep it running in the long term?

A: In order to bring back the passion in a relationship, there is no quick fix. It takes a lot of romance, it takes good communication, it takes working a little ...

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Why Does He Pull Away?

One of the biggest challenges a woman experiences in a relationship is when a man pulls away. He may disappear for a few hours or even a few days, but it is a very natural thing for a man to do. The reason is biological.

The most important things for a woman to remember when a man pulls away: don’t chase him and don’t try to make him feel happy.

When he pulls away, this is not the time for her to get angry, or build resentment, or even feel sorry for herself. This is her ti...

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How To Make A Woman Happy

Men are always asking me, "What do I do when she is unhappy?". Most of them list all things they have said or things they have tried to do to make the women in their lives happy.

But my response for all of them is the same:

There is nothing you can say or do to make her happy.Women can only make themselves happy, but men have the power to make them happier.

So how does a man make a woman happier?

First, we need to understand why she is feeling unhappy. When a wom...

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Why Probiotics Are So Important For Overall Health

Ever had a “gut” feeling?

There may be more to it than you realize.

It is estimated that over 500 species of bacteria lives in our gut, intestines, and stomach. Up until the past few years, researchers paid little attention to the colonies of bacteria that live in the lower gut.

Today, we know maintaining a healthy balance of good versus bad bacteria is important because people with more beneficial bacteria are less likely to suffer from a wide range of diseases and co...

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Should I Take Magnesium?

Magnesium And The Body

Many nutrients are essential for good health but few are more crucial than magnesium. Magnesium is used by every organ in your body and none of our cells could function without it. Magnesium is also involved in more than 325 enzyme reactions.

When you are low in magnesium, you can suffer from body aches, muscle spasms, eye twitches, tension headaches, reduced energy, constipation, poor sleep, and overwhelming feelings of stress.

Nearly half of all America...

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What Women Want In Relationships

Sigmund Freud famously asked the question, “What do women want?” but he never found a definitive answer. I offer some help to an answer in my book, Beyond Mars and Venus.

As relationships continue to evolve and change, the needs and wants of women change with them. Thousands of years ago, a woman would depend on a man to provide her physical needs, such as food and shelter, for her and her children’s survival. Today women can certainly take care of themselves, but the e...

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5 Ways Grape Seeds Can Boost Your Health

Grapes have been used for centuries to treat a number of different health conditions. The leaves of the vine were used to treat inflammation and pain, and the unripened grapes were used to soothe sore throats.

The seeds of grapes were largely ignored because little was known about their health benefits. The wine and juice industry still consider them a waste product because they don’t go into the finished drinks.

However, grape seeds contain a vast array of healthy ingredients, s...

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You're a real catch but here's why women aren't interested.

Dear Lauren,

I’m a good-looking guy, so I know my looks are not the problem. But every time I try talking to a girl, getting close to a girl, or try to take “dating” to the next level, it never works out. I’m a funny guy, fairly wise, very goal oriented, and I’m very social. But the bottom line is, I’m just not very good with “relationships” or dating in general. Can you help give me a clue on how to be more successful with the ladies?



My #1 Relationship Mistake (and the 'rule' that changed everything for me)

My #1 Relationship Mistake
I had an unusual childhood. My dad was the number one self-help author of all time and the world's leading relationship expert. I was a kid who ate dinner to the tune of gender and relationship discussions and boy, did I learn a lot. So when I first started dating, I assumed I had it all figured out.

It’s safe to say I was W R O N G.

I had several relationships that started wonderfully. My boyfriends would make me endlessly happy, and I wa...

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Four Stages To Creating A Soul Mate Relationship

To have a successful relationship, you need to be open to creating change - epecially changing yourself.

Most people who complain about their relationship are simply missing the passion they felt in the beginning of the relationship. They want more passion, better communication, and a closer connection with their partner.

In my book, Beyond Mars and Venus, I describe the feelings and thoughts people experience when they are not getting what they need in their relationships. I also e...

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What Stops People From Creating A Soul Mate Relationship?

When I first wrote Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, the major challenge in most relationships was learning how to accept and understand our common gender differences in order to improve communication and restore the romance.

While readers found these insights were incredibly helpful then and still will today, now the bigger challenge is to balance the expression of our male and female sides to lower our stress and create a relationship that is passionate and lasts a lifetime &nda...


The top 5 relationship efforts that give you even more in return.

Happy Valentines Day/Week!
Newsfeeds will be full of picture perfect couples – getting engaged, flashing new jewelry, bouquets of flowers, etc. And I think it’s great that these men and women get to bask in the romantic glow of their partner’s loving attention on this special day.

But great relationships can’t survive on Valentine’s Day efforts alone. A great relationship needs to be fed with loving attention every day.

Does that sound exhaustin...

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Are you sacrificing too much in the name of love?

Hey Lauren,

I really love your blogs, they make a lot of sense, and I need your help with something. I’m 39 years old and I’m engaged to a woman I adore. Here’s my problem, she nags me all the time. I want to be there for her but it feels like she’s always demanding so much time and energy. I know you’re supposed to “compromise” in a relationship but it seems like I’m making all the sacrifices and I’m starting to feel like this relations...

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From A Role Mate Relationship To A Soul Mate Relationship

I wrote Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus 25 years ago and it continues to touch the lives of people in over 150 countries.

When I travel the world, the most frequent question I hear is "Does that book still apply to relationships today?"

The short answer: yes, essentially.

The long answer is more complex.

Men Are from Mars still holds timeless teachings that can be applied to every relationship in your life. But I realize the world has changed dramatically si...


A simple exercise to open your heart to each other no matter what.

Gratitude practice has become a popular path to experiencing more happiness and fulfillment in life. But you may be surprised to know how “gratitude” can help your relationship as well.

Most of our dissatisfaction in life comes from looking at what we don’t have, at the absence of something we want.

I want my partner to listen to me and he doesn’t.
I want my partner to let me watch my show in peace and she doesn’t.
I want my partner to be affecti...

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How To Have A Complaint-free Relationship

For many men and women, the thought of never having to hear another complaint sounds like heaven. In a complaint-free relationship, love is sure to grow. But complaints are a part of life. To not complain is to hide a part of our authentic self. Sharing complaints is actually not the real problem; it is how you are sharing your complaints about your partner to your partner! A complaint-free relationship does not mean you can never complain; it means you don’t complain about your partner to...

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Why men cock block your feelings instead of listening.

Hi Lauren,

I need your help. It seems like every time I try to bring something up about our relationship and express my honest feelings, it turns into a fight. Specifically, I open up, he gets irritated and says “drop it.” I’m not one to be bulldozed over so I keep talking. I should be allowed to express to myself to my own boyfriend. He just keeps saying, “drop it” and eventually leaves the room and slams the door.

I’m trying to make this relationsh...

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How To Talk To A Man So He Will Listen

Today, we have become more conscious of the idea that every person has a masculine side and a feminine side. The more modern, soul mate relationship includes a conscious woman and a conscious man who both want to express their true authentic selves.

A woman wants to have the freedom to express her feminine side and her masculine side when she wants and a man wants to express his masculine side and his feminine side when he wants. However, this can often throw a relationship out of balance.


Want a successful relationship? When your partner let's you down, do this...

It’s easy to find fault. It’s always going to be easy to find fault in our partners. We’re human. We make mistakes. And because we open our hearts to and find ourselves leaning on our partner’s for support, it can be VERY obvious when they screw something up, make a mistake, or let us down.

But what separates a dissatisfying relationship from a fulfilling one is looking past the fault and finding the loving intention. Squinting through your partner’s mistake...

JOhn Gray Mars Venus Soul Mate Relationship Seminar Ranch