When Will I Find That Perfect Guy – My Soul Mate?

advice: dating john gray

Are you single and looking for your soul mate? Maybe you’re beginning to feel like there’s no one out there for you.

Not true!

Although wading through the dating pool to find the one can be daunting, there are things you can do to make yourself more successful in doing so.

In this post, I’m going to share how men are really the dessert for your overall satisfaction in life and how that changes everything.

Hi John,

I’ve been single for six years. I’ve dated a bunch of guys, and I’m losing hope. When will I find my soul mate?


Men Are Dessert


Dating a bunch of guys and not finding your soul mate means there’s a missing piece to the puzzle. In most cases, it’s your sense of inner fulfillment that’s lacking, and you’re looking to a man to make you feel fulfilled.

It’s time to flip the script and think of a guy as dessert: The source of fulfillment is your life itself; the guy is just the whipped cream on top.

When you’re fulfilled in your own life, it makes a man feel like he can be successful in making you happy. Since you’re not looking at him to fill a void, you’re more open to appreciating his efforts in making you happy. He’s only there for extra flavor.


Positive Dating Experiences


You’ll tend to attract and recognize the right man for you when you have a series of positive dating experiences. With each dating experience, you’re looking to feel good, be happy, and enjoy the encounters.

During these dates, notice what you like about him and the things you don’t like. Don’t dwell on the negative — just make a note of it. Focus on enjoying yourself!

The whole idea is kind of like house shopping. If you’re looking for a house to buy, you’re going to be more vigilant at looking at what’s wrong with it.

If you’re just looking for a house to see what you like — to eventually buy a house — you’re more likely to see the good, more likely to enjoy the process. You wouldn’t pick it apart, looking for mold or cracks in the foundation. You would enjoy it and learn from the experience.

So once you create that series of positive dating experiences, you start to see the good in men — not everything that needs “fixing.” Men can sense that and pick up on your positive vibe. This is when the magic happens, and the right man can’t help but be attracted to you.


Pattern to Break


If you have a pattern of having sex with men and they don’t call you back, try to go after men that don’t turn you on right away.

You heard that right.

Your goal is to be open to the men who pursue you but that you may not initially be sexually attracted to. Without sexual attraction getting in the way and swaying your judgment, you can grow naturally in a relationship.

The ideal situation: They’re pursuing you more than you’re pursuing them.

Then, with an open mind, you can sit back and see if a sexual attraction develops. In the beginning, it’s important to focus on something other than sexual attraction and desire, and instead, really get to know the man for who he is. If you like him more and more as you uncover the real him, you’ll find yourself creating a lasting attraction with what turns out to be the right man for you.


Grow in love,


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