How Can I Help My Depressed Wife Feel Happy Again?

advice: relationship john gray

You’re looking at your wife — she’s down, irritable, and generally not happy. You feel helpless.

Although it’s natural to feel down sometimes, it’s not natural to stay down.

Good news: There is something you can do to help her find happiness.

Discover below how YOU uniquely can bring out a certain side of your partner to help her feel like herself again.

How can I make my depressed wife feel happy again? She’s overwhelmed, and she complains.

– Mark

This is a big challenge for everyone in a relationship, and the answer can help every man to understand his wife better.

Today, women lean more to their masculine side, meaning they’re more independent, and their lives are busier. This stimulates the production of male hormones, like testosterone. However, the female hormones are not stimulated by our modern lifestyle and pace, and these essential hormones are what help women to relax and be happy.

What she needs is help to support her in connecting with her feminine side. You are uniquely set up to give her this support!

The key is to adjust your behavior in small ways to help her feel safe. Showing interest in what she’s feeling will make her feel safe to express what she feels inside and allows her to relax.

For a woman, talking about what’s bothering her releases estrogen and oxytocin (the pleasure hormones in a woman), so once she is able to share her feelings with you and relax, she comes back to feeling good.


Overcoming the Challenge of the Feminine Side


The feminine side is emotional and not rational, so it can be quite challenging for a woman when she has been way over on her masculine side and then she comes back to her female side. It can seem a little needy, irrational, and illogical — so she represses it.

The way around this is by making it really safe for her to express what she’s feeling and not interrupt her with solutions or minimize her emotions. You have to trust that once she can express how she feels, she’ll come back to feeling good.

This is the dynamic I teach in all of my books but especially in Beyond Mars and Venus. Men need to ask questions and make statement prompts like:

  • Help me understand that better.
  • Tell me more.
  • What else?
  • What happened today at work?
  • How did you feel?
  • What’s going on?


One thing you can do if you notice your wife is down is to practice not talking or complaining so much. Create a safe place for her to open up — don’t focus so much about you opening up. This will create a friendly environment to entice her feminine side to come out.


There are three things you can do for her:

  • Begin showing more interest in what she’s feeling
  • Do more things for her
  • Plan dates


Planning dates where you get out of the routine and you organize everything will allow her to naturally shift to her feminine side.


But What About YOUR Feelings?


If you find yourself becoming irritated and annoyed with her, it’s a sign that you’re looking too much to her for your own fulfillment. Clearly, since you’re frustrated by her depression, it’s affecting you. We need to be sure we’re looking for happiness within ourselves and taking the time to do things that make us feel good. Then, when you come to her, you’re not looking at her like she’s supposed to be making you feel good.

Although, as a man, when a woman is happy, you feel happier as well.

Start on these changes today and watch your wife respond. With the correct support, you can both be the best versions of yourselves and your marriage can once again be happy and fulfilling.


Grow in love,


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