Not So Fast – How to Get Past Premature Ejaculation

advice: wellness john gray

Have you ever heard those three words that no man ever wants to hear from his girlfriend or his wife?

"Is that it?"

What happens in sex is sometimes he's finished having sex before she is. This can be embarrassing but it can also create challenges and additional stress in your relationship(s).

The good news is there is a way to get past premature ejaculation and enjoy a fulfilling sex life that also fulfills your partner!

In this post, I’ll show you three practical steps you can take today to change this pattern so that you can leave it in the past and experience a brand new future.

[Disclosure: I only recommend products I've used myself and all opinions expressed here are my own. This post contains affiliate links and if you use these links to buy something, we may earn a commission.]


When Is Fast “Too Fast”?

In those moments when you orgasm before she does, it can be embarrassing. The way the man diminishes his own feeling of embarrassment that he came before he was ready is by making it like, "Okay, well that was great."

And he doesn't seem to care about the fact that she didn't get what she needed.

Now, having said that, there is something which is quite delightful in relationships called quickies. There's nothing wrong with quickies where you only have a few minutes, "Let's go have sex quick." But there needs to be a balance to that where you can have sex which is not a quickie.

So you've got junk food sex, which are quickies, where you come right away, and then you've got gourmet sex where you can extend the pleasure.

You can have longer pleasure and intercourse can last longer. Now, we're not talking intercourse lasting hours. People talk about that — intercourse lasting hours.

When I talk to the women whose husbands or boyfriends will have intercourse for more than 15 or 20 minutes, they're raw inside. It doesn't have to be so long. That obsession with long intercourse is kind of like, "Let's eat dinner and have it last three hours," or something.


But you have a reasonable amount. Generally speaking, 10 minutes of intercourse is enough to provide an orgasm for a woman through intercourse if you properly stimulate her beforehand. It's quite a nice goal to shoot for. If you're a 30 minuter, try to shorten it down. If you're a one-minute guy, which is you go in and you're done, it doesn't give her enough time for that stimulation. So the idea is to get somewhere around 10 minutes of good stimulation, where both people are fully experiencing pleasure.


The Right Stimulation for a Mutually Good Time


You see, all of the nerves of the body go down into the vagina and down into the penis, and when the penis goes into a tight vagina, what happens is the penis is being stimulated as it's moving in and out.

That pressure in that area is stimulating all the nerves in his body, keeping him young, keeping him alive, regenerating his brain. There's nothing better than great sex, nothing better than great sex for our health and our longevity and so forth.

There are other things that are important in life too, but that's also one of those really great opportunities if we can create great sex.

And it's not just "Gee, why can't we just have great sex every time?" That’s not realistic for anyone!

You've got to be feeling great, she's got to be feeling great, and all the conditions have to be met, and then it can be great. But when you've got those conditions, let's make sure that you last long enough to make it happen because this is a great gift to her and a great gift to you.

So the first aspect here is to make sure you're getting the full amount of stimulation.

Give her a climax first. That's the key to this whole thing.

Get excited, touch, rub around. Then you see that you're about to have a climax in about a minute. If you were about a minute away from a climax, the climax is right at the point of inevitability. So a good minute or so before the point of inevitability, you need to relax yourself.

You relax and focus your energy on her.

And so at that point, you just shift her hand away from you. It's a signal which says, "Now, I just want to give to you." And you give her oral sex, you stimulate her, you touch her, you kiss her, but it's mainly for her. And you get down to the clitoris and you start stimulating the clitoris for a good five or 10 minutes, she will get very close to orgasm or orgasm.

You never want to put an exact goal on sex...

...but once she has her orgasm, now what happens is she's capable of fully receiving your energy.

One of the reasons guys have premature ejaculation is because they're more excited than the woman, so it's like she's resisting you, and then your excitement gets too intense and you release. Your body can only handle so much excitement, then you have the ejaculation.

And it's a necessity; excitement is heating up. If you heat up too much, then the heat will actually kill the sperm. So the body has a mechanism that if you heat up fast, you’ve got to release fast.

So you’ve got to stay calm and cool and relaxed. If you heat up fast, then you'll tend to ejaculate faster. And what heats you up faster is if your energy is moving into her, but she's not ready for it, then your energy backs up and it becomes hot faster. So you get more intense because she's not receiving.

So the key to changing premature ejaculation is making sure she has her climax first. What happens when a woman has a climax is the vagina expands and then it clamps. And once it's clamped, it's tight. That means she's ready to receive you. That means when you come in, she's going to get full stimulation to activate her whole body into a state of greater health and vitality as well as for you.


The Chemistry of Climax (and What You Need to Last Longer)


Now, some men have difficulty ejaculating and that's because they don't have enough oxytocin.

The men who tend to premature ejaculate have too much oxytocin.

They're more connected to their feelings, their sensitive side, so they get more excited.

So part of balancing all of that is to make sure that you have enough testosterone. 

To boost your testosterone naturally (without taking hormones) I highly recommend Tongkat Ali, three or four capsules before sex.

Now, you should be taking it regularly and make sure your testosterone levels are solid. One or two a day, five days a week for a while, three or four months. But then right before sex, about an hour before sex, (could be a half-hour), but an hour before sex, just take another three. And man, that testosterone gives you a solid, hard erection that will last longer. You don't have premature ejaculation.

Now, what the researchers are finding out is that if they give men who have premature ejaculation Prozac, it will allow them to extend intercourse so they don't have premature ejaculation. Now, why is that? Because Prozac — I don't recommend it by the way — Prozac increases the stimulation of serotonin. But it's an unhealthy way to do it.

The bottom line is, it does increase serotonin function. But with Prozac, it will also diminish your sex drive. What it really does is it diminishes that overexcitement inside of you. So people that are overly excited and having premature ejaculation, if they diminish that a bit, then they can last longer.

So what you need, if you're a premature ejaculator, is more serotonin.

The two things that will increase serotonin naturally for you (and will not diminish your sex drive) are 5-HTP and lithium orotate.

5-HTP: So you want to take triple whatever it says on the bottle a day of your 5-HTP, it's usually a hundred milligrams of 5-HTP a day. And that also will keep you more calm and relaxed. But then before sex, a good hour before, triple that dose before sex.

So you got your 5-HTP to make more serotonin, you've got your Tongkat Ali to bump up the testosterone, and then you've got lithium orotate, which also helps stimulate the production of serotonin and dopamine. And you do need some dopamine.

If that doesn't work enough, then you can also put in there some tyrosine. A good 2 to 300 milligrams of tyrosine.

Tyrosine is something that increases dopamine. Dopamine keeps you focused, serotonin keeps you relaxed, and then you've got your lithium orotate that helps activate both those things.

This is definitely going to help a lot.

It's kind of an elixir, a magic elixir to make sex fantastic if you want to do that.

You can also try Trojan extended pleasure condoms or lidocaine to numb the penis just enough so you don't get overexcited and you can last much, much longer.

I've given you some basic supplements that will for sure allow you to last longer in sex without premature climax. But if you want to really up your game...


Up Your Game to Don Juan Status


We all have our limitations.

And when it comes to being a great lover, we all have our limitations there.

Women don't expect perfection. Nobody's perfect. But, occasionally, you want to feel what it's like to be the world's greatest lover.

And the way you do it is with a natural supplement called Gabatrol.

Gabatrol is a mixture of amino acids: GABA, taurine, tyrosine, 5-HTP, and a few helpful herbs.

As a mixture, it's very, very powerful, particularly if you take several. So to be the super lover of all time, you could take six. And you take six of these pills before you go to bed. It'll make you sleep like an angel. I mean, you'll see deep, deep sleep. It's an amazing deep sleep. And then when you wake up, you'll be ready for the best sex of your life. I mean, it is amazing.

GABA causes you to be happy with the moment. So you'll be doing foreplay and you're like, oh my gosh, this is a beautiful hand, you're feeling your senses increase. You become very sensual.

See, women are naturally more sensual — men are not nearly as much as women — but to actually experience sensuality, the whole thing slows down. You'll not even want to jump right into intercourse. You want to go slow and enjoy the buildup. It's the buildup that's so fulfilling and you’re not going to give it up yet. And then you have intercourse. You can go on and on and pause and rest a little while. Kiss and hug and look in each other eyes.

I mean, it's an altered state.

You just have to know that when you take Gabatrol, you're going really high, you will come down. And when you come down, it's important to let your partner know that we're going to spend this time together and then I'm going to pull away.

Best not to be around her when you come down, because to the extent that you merged with her, you experienced this sort of ecstatic union, there's going to be a need to pull away and be on your own.

So if you're planning a business trip or going out with the guys to do something, you've got a big work project, schedule this right before that and let her know that we're going to have this great sexual experience and then I'm going to pull away.

She also could take any of those things and it will enrich her sexual experience too!

I warn you against becoming dependent on this Gabatrol experience of sex. It’s like, you don't need to go on a vacation to Hawaii every day. That would be too much. I schedule it once a year. That's a nice scheduled vacation, but I couldn't do that all the time. My life would go out of balance. I like my work. I like this. I like that. So this Gabatrol experience is a really profound experience to bring back the romance. You just feel it. It's amazing.

So those are some great tips on getting past the pattern of premature ejaculation and embracing even more great sex. You deserve it.

For updated protocols and John's best recommendations for improving the symptoms of erectile dysfunction, grab your free wellness guide here.


Grow in love,


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