How Do I Meet a High Quality Man?

advice: dating john gray

Are you ready for a loving relationship but finding it hard to meet a high-quality man?

Someone you can connect with, feel attraction to, and grow in love with?

I hear this question a lot, so you’re not alone!

The good news is there are some simple shifts you can make to attract a quality man, become a magnet for the relationship you want, and fall deeply in love — and this post dives into it all.

Hi John,

How do I meet quality men?”

– Natasha


Simple and to the point! When I hear this question, I have to start by asking:

What is it that makes a man “quality”?


What Makes a “High-Quality Man?”


For the purpose of this post and discussion, let’s take out any man who is:

  • Violent or dangerous
  • Addicted to drugs
  • Out-of-work and lazy


The reason I lump out-of-work men into this category is that in order to show up successfully for a relationship, a man needs to first feel good about himself by what he can accomplish and achieve. That’s very hard for a man if he doesn’t have a job or some way he’s serving society.

So, let’s push these three categories of men away for now because you don’t want those guys!

Now, you’re left with the 90% of other men out there who are not that.

That’s quite a large pool of men who might be “quality”!

But you’d never know it.

Okay, that sounds harsh. Here’s why I position it this way.

If you’re asking, “How do I meet a quality man?” that means that you keep meeting men (who are possibly interested in you) and your reaction to them is: He’s not a quality man.

What that really means is that you don’t feel a certain way about him.

We often describe people not by how they are, but by how we feel in reaction to them. And, in romantic relationships, you want to feel attracted!

What I’ve seen from my work with thousands of clients is that when a woman feels attracted to a man, then she can feel "now this is a quality man" and get excited about him.

Here’s what I’m getting at:

When you say “quality,” what you really want is love.

That’s why you’re here.

You want to fall and grow in love with a man who will love you and grow in love with you — but the first step to falling in love is attraction.

So how do we increase your chances for attraction so you can become open to the many quality men who are out there, right now, waiting to meet you? Let’s find out.


How to Increase Your Chances for Attraction


The key to the whole challenge of attraction comes down to hormones.

When you feel attraction, it’s because something is happening hormonally in your body — it is responding to someone (not everyone) that is different from you — and that creates a magnet.

Just like a magnet, it takes the poles of masculinity and femininity to create that hormonal response in your body and feel attraction.

As a woman, in order to feel attraction, you need to feel safe in the presence of a manWhen you feel safe in the presence of a man, your body creates more estrogen.

When estrogen levels go up, you are hormonally primed for love and intimacy, and you will begin to discover things that you appreciate about the man in front of you.

You may begin to think: “Oh, I really appreciate the way he makes decisions, listens, or faces challenges with confidence.”

Suddenly, things that are quite common about being masculine become appreciative.

When the magnet of polarity is triggered, and you feel greater appreciation, you’re able to see the good points in who a guy is.

Remember: It’s never gonna be perfect because no one is perfect, but quality is there if you’re able to feel attraction.

When that happens, then you’ll begin to open your heart to fall in love.

So how do you create that polarity and allow your estrogen levels to rise?

You work on bringing out your “feminine side” to create the right hormonal environment.


Bringing Out Your Feminine Side


Polarity has a vital role in attraction.

If you’re more on your masculine side and he’s more on his masculine side, there will not be enough polarity for attraction.


There also won’t be enough polarity for him to behave in a way that shows his great masculine qualities, such as:


These “quality man” qualities that help you feel attraction don’t come forth unless you’re embracing your feminine side as well as your masculine side.


The feminine side qualities are:

  • Emotional
  • Appreciative
  • Happy


The keyword here when it comes to your feminine side is feeling.


Two things happen when you lean into your feminine side:

  1. You bring forth more masculine qualities from him that create strong attraction
  2. Your estrogen levels rise, and you begin to feel your need for a partner


Allowing your estrogen to rise is important because in order to fall in love, your estrogen levels need to become 20 times higher than a man’s.

You need to double your estrogen levels from 10 times more to 20 times more!

Connecting with your “need” for a man can feel totally challenging. You are strong, independent, self-sufficient, and “do not need a man.” At least not in the traditional sense of the past.

Men and women are equals.

And, hormonally speaking, there is a biological reason why connecting with your need for a man will help you meet and feel attracted to a high-quality man!


Need Creates Appreciation & Attraction


I understand that taking on the belief “I need a man” may be uncomfortable.

So I want to offer another perspective.

Think about this: You need food.

Well, imagine going three days without eating, then you really need food!

After those three days, anything you eat would be amazing.

Maybe it’s only a bagel with cream cheese, but it will feel like: “WOW! This is the best bagel I have ever tasted!”

It will taste fantastic — and high quality!

This is because when you have a need, and then have that need fulfilled, you have a greater appreciation. But if you don’t feel that need, then most men will seem not enough.

Appreciating a quality man is the key to bringing forth the best in him, and therefore nurturing a positive cycle of attraction, bonding, and love.

Once you have the polarity and attraction, then you begin to bond, and the attraction increases.

You may be wondering what else you can do specifically to continue increasing polarity, and therefore attraction.

This is why I wrote a whole book on this called Beyond Mars & Venus.

In this book, I teach women who are more on their masculine, independent side how to come back to their feminine side and find balance for greater relationship fulfillment.

Not to give up their independence.

Not to give up their masculine qualities.

But to simply balance those and enhance their love life with their natural feminine qualities.

As you practice techniques like those inside Beyond Mars & Venus, then you will feel more attraction and see the qualities in men that are so noble and appealing.

From there, you’ll see that there are lots of quality men around and you will have what you want!


Grow in love,


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