8 Mistakes Men and Women Make In Arguments

Every meaningful relationship has disagreements.

It is usually the wrong response or reaction from one or both people that causes a disagreement to escalate to a worse fight.

I have made a list of the 8 most common mistakes men and women make in an argument.

Let's start with the men...

8 mistakes MEN make in an argument

1.Aggressive tone or loud voice
Men can care so much about being right that they don't realize thatthey often sound threatening and ov...

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Kiss on the First Date?

Dear John,

Why do guys want to kiss on the first date?

When I ask the guys, they tell me they want to know if we have chemistry.

I would rather have the first kiss come naturally.

Is that wrong?



Thanks for your question, LIndsay.

This is an area where men and women often show their differences.

If a man wants to kiss you, then he is already feeling chemistry. A man is usually attracted to a woman’s physical appearance first. A...

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Four Warning Signs In A Relationship

The pain of breaking up a romantic relationship is strongest when it comes as a surprise.

One day, you think everything is fine, and the next day you are blindsided by a breakup talk.

It is hard for some people to recognize the warning signs that a relationship is having trouble. I have been teaching them for as long as I have been giving relationship advice. I wrote about them in my first book, What You Feel, You Can Heal.

I call them the Four Rs and they usually progress in a pa...

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Can A Relationship Recover From Cheating?

Affairs are painful. They can feel like terrible betrayals.

Affairs shatter the romantic myth that if someone loves me, I am the only person they could ever want.

This is true and beautiful, but it is also an illusion.

Some people have experienced infidelity in their own intimate relationships. Some people are the children of parents who had affairs. Some people have siblings who strayed in their relationships.Almost everyone knows a friend who has either cheated on a partner o...

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Telling The Truth In Relationships

Telling The Truth In Relationships

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How To Bring Passion Back To A Relationship

So many couples ask me how they can bring back the passion to their relationship.

It’s never an easy answer.

I have counseled couples for months before they have been able to restore the passion and the deep love to their relationship.

Transformation depends on the willingness to change.

If they want to make it work, they can make it work.

Sometimes even when one partner doesn’t want to work on the relationship but the other partner does, after I help the wil...


The Five Stages of Dating

Whether you are starting over, just starting to date, or have been dating for years, one thing doesn't seem to change:Dating is awkward.

Although dating can be confusing, painful and full of challenges, the greatest reward is finding a Soul Mate.

So how do you find a Soul Mate?

The first thing you should do when looking for love isstop looking for it.


I know that sounds counterintuitive but it’s true. You should focus on yourself first. Love yourself first...


The Most Important Relationship

Most people experience problems in their relationships, and life for that matter, because they don't love themselves.

I know that sounds like a broad statement but it's true. Once you stop loving yourself, you create space for hating yourself.

Love is a cycle that can grow stronger if it is supported...

The more you love yourself, the greater freedom you feel to express yourself. The more you express yourself, the easier it is for people to appreciate the real you and not ...

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How to Have More Sex and Less Porn in Your Relationship

I was interviewd in the video above by Leana Greene, CEO of Kids In The House.

Kids In The House is an educational website devoted to parenting. Below are the questions and my answers.

Q: Dr. Gray, my question for you is, how do you get your wife's sex drive back, and how can you keep it running in the long term?

A: In order to bring back the passion in a relationship, there is no quick fix. It takes a lot of romance, it takes good communication, it takes working a little ...

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Why Does He Pull Away?

One of the biggest challenges a woman experiences in a relationship is when a man pulls away. He may disappear for a few hours or even a few days, but it is a very natural thing for a man to do. The reason is biological.

The most important things for a woman to remember when a man pulls away: don’t chase him and don’t try to make him feel happy.

When he pulls away, this is not the time for her to get angry, or build resentment, or even feel sorry for herself. This is her ti...

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How To Make A Woman Happy

Men are always asking me, "What do I do when she is unhappy?". Most of them list all things they have said or things they have tried to do to make the women in their lives happy.

But my response for all of them is the same:

There is nothing you can say or do to make her happy.Women can only make themselves happy, but men have the power to make them happier.

So how does a man make a woman happier?

First, we need to understand why she is feeling unhappy. When a wom...

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Why Probiotics Are So Important For Overall Health

Ever had a “gut” feeling?

There may be more to it than you realize.

It is estimated that over 500 species of bacteria lives in our gut, intestines, and stomach. Up until the past few years, researchers paid little attention to the colonies of bacteria that live in the lower gut.

Today, we know maintaining a healthy balance of good versus bad bacteria is important because people with more beneficial bacteria are less likely to suffer from a wide range of diseases and co...

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What Women Want In Relationships

Sigmund Freud famously asked the question, “What do women want?” but he never found a definitive answer. I offer some help to an answer in my book, Beyond Mars and Venus.

As relationships continue to evolve and change, the needs and wants of women change with them. Thousands of years ago, a woman would depend on a man to provide her physical needs, such as food and shelter, for her and her children’s survival. Today women can certainly take care of themselves, but the e...

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You're a real catch but here's why women aren't interested.

Dear Lauren,

I’m a good-looking guy, so I know my looks are not the problem. But every time I try talking to a girl, getting close to a girl, or try to take “dating” to the next level, it never works out. I’m a funny guy, fairly wise, very goal oriented, and I’m very social. But the bottom line is, I’m just not very good with “relationships” or dating in general. Can you help give me a clue on how to be more successful with the ladies?



My #1 Relationship Mistake (and the 'rule' that changed everything for me)

My #1 Relationship Mistake
I had an unusual childhood. My dad was the number one self-help author of all time and the world's leading relationship expert. I was a kid who ate dinner to the tune of gender and relationship discussions and boy, did I learn a lot. So when I first started dating, I assumed I had it all figured out.

It’s safe to say I was W R O N G.

I had several relationships that started wonderfully. My boyfriends would make me endlessly happy, and I wa...

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Four Stages To Creating A Soul Mate Relationship

To have a successful relationship, you need to be open to creating change - epecially changing yourself.

Most people who complain about their relationship are simply missing the passion they felt in the beginning of the relationship. They want more passion, better communication, and a closer connection with their partner.

In my book, Beyond Mars and Venus, I describe the feelings and thoughts people experience when they are not getting what they need in their relationships. I also e...

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What Stops People From Creating A Soul Mate Relationship?

When I first wrote Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, the major challenge in most relationships was learning how to accept and understand our common gender differences in order to improve communication and restore the romance.

While readers found these insights were incredibly helpful then and still will today, now the bigger challenge is to balance the expression of our male and female sides to lower our stress and create a relationship that is passionate and lasts a lifetime &nda...


The top 5 relationship efforts that give you even more in return.

Happy Valentines Day/Week!
Newsfeeds will be full of picture perfect couples – getting engaged, flashing new jewelry, bouquets of flowers, etc. And I think it’s great that these men and women get to bask in the romantic glow of their partner’s loving attention on this special day.

But great relationships can’t survive on Valentine’s Day efforts alone. A great relationship needs to be fed with loving attention every day.

Does that sound exhaustin...

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Are you sacrificing too much in the name of love?

Hey Lauren,

I really love your blogs, they make a lot of sense, and I need your help with something. I’m 39 years old and I’m engaged to a woman I adore. Here’s my problem, she nags me all the time. I want to be there for her but it feels like she’s always demanding so much time and energy. I know you’re supposed to “compromise” in a relationship but it seems like I’m making all the sacrifices and I’m starting to feel like this relations...

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From A Role Mate Relationship To A Soul Mate Relationship

I wrote Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus 25 years ago and it continues to touch the lives of people in over 150 countries.

When I travel the world, the most frequent question I hear is "Does that book still apply to relationships today?"

The short answer: yes, essentially.

The long answer is more complex.

Men Are from Mars still holds timeless teachings that can be applied to every relationship in your life. But I realize the world has changed dramatically si...

John Gray Mars Venus Soul Mate Relationship Weekend Seminar