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DATING ADVICE

Kiss on the First Date?

Dear John,

Why do guys want to kiss on the first date?

When I ask the guys, they tell me they want to know if we have chemistry.

I would rather have the first kiss come naturally.

Is that wrong?

Thanks!

Lindsay


Thanks for your question, LIndsay.

This is an area where men and women often show their differences.

If a man wants to kiss you, then he is already feeling chemistry. A man is usually attracted to a woman’s physical appearance first. A...

DATING ADVICE

The Five Stages of Dating

Whether you are starting over, just starting to date, or have been dating for years, one thing doesn't seem to change:Dating is awkward.

Although dating can be confusing, painful and full of challenges, the greatest reward is finding a Soul Mate.

So how do you find a Soul Mate?

The first thing you should do when looking for love isstop looking for it.

Huh?

I know that sounds counterintuitive but it’s true. You should focus on yourself first. Love yourself first...

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What Women Want In Relationships


Sigmund Freud famously asked the question, “What do women want?” but he never found a definitive answer. I offer some help to an answer in my book, Beyond Mars and Venus.

As relationships continue to evolve and change, the needs and wants of women change with them. Thousands of years ago, a woman would depend on a man to provide her physical needs, such as food and shelter, for her and her children’s survival. Today women can certainly take care of themselves, but the e...

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DATING ADVICE

You're a real catch but here's why women aren't interested.

Dear Lauren,

I’m a good-looking guy, so I know my looks are not the problem. But every time I try talking to a girl, getting close to a girl, or try to take “dating” to the next level, it never works out. I’m a funny guy, fairly wise, very goal oriented, and I’m very social. But the bottom line is, I’m just not very good with “relationships” or dating in general. Can you help give me a clue on how to be more successful with the ladies?

&n...

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My #1 Relationship Mistake (and the 'rule' that changed everything for me)


My #1 Relationship Mistake
I had an unusual childhood. My dad was the number one self-help author of all time and the world's leading relationship expert. I was a kid who ate dinner to the tune of gender and relationship discussions and boy, did I learn a lot. So when I first started dating, I assumed I had it all figured out.

It’s safe to say I was W R O N G.

I had several relationships that started wonderfully. My boyfriends would make me endlessly happy, and I wa...

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Why men cock block your feelings instead of listening.

Hi Lauren,

I need your help. It seems like every time I try to bring something up about our relationship and express my honest feelings, it turns into a fight. Specifically, I open up, he gets irritated and says “drop it.” I’m not one to be bulldozed over so I keep talking. I should be allowed to express to myself to my own boyfriend. He just keeps saying, “drop it” and eventually leaves the room and slams the door.

I’m trying to make this relationsh...

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'When I'm upset, he just makes it worse!' How couples can communicate better and without all the drama.

Dear Lauren,

I don't feel comfortable talking to my boyfriend when I feel sad, because what's the point? He doesn't give me his full attention. And he gets really disturbed that I get angrier the longer he “listens.” It just seems like he doesn't know what to do or what to say. He's stuck in fix it mode.

I don't want our relationship to end, but it bothers him when I'm upset and can't talk about it. I’ve given up and don’t talk an...

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DATING ADVICE

The surprising truth about dating a selfish man (or a series of selfish men)

Hi Lauren! Thank you so much for all that you do. I’ve learned so much. My question is, what do you do if you’re dating a narcissist? Or in my case, a series of narcissists? It seems like every relationship I start, it’s all about what HE wants to do, or what HE wants to talk about, which is usually himself. I know I deserve more than that. What’s your advice when you’re dating a selfish man?

-Rena


Hi Rena,

Great question. In this blog I’m go...

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3 easy ways to immediately improve communication with your partner.

Hey Lauren!

Me and my boyfriend have been together for two years. The first year was bliss, the second year was also bliss but with some insecurities thrown in. The one thing I have been insecure about recently is that I feel that my boyfriend and I don't talk enough. Does this mean he isn't right for me? Can we improve our communication? Is he getting bored with me? PLEASE HELP.

-Holly

Hey Holly,

Is it the END?

Right now, you are taking this silent treatment as ...

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DATING ADVICE

Why men pull away after sex (and what you can do about it!)

Hi Lauren,

I’m friends with this guy and we really get along. Last week we somehow ended up in bed together. It felt comfortable and natural. What’s bothering me now is that he’s been acting differently towards me ever since. He used to text me all the time and now he never texts me unless I text him first. He seems like he isn’t interested in maintaining our relationship anymore and I’m not sure why. We had fun. Why is he acting so different?

-Sonia

...

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DATING ADVICE

Stumped at being dumped? The real reason you're single.

Dear Lauren,

My ex-girlfriend said that she did not love me nor was she attracted to me. But we were together for six months! She made the first move on our first date, she would always initiate PDA's: kissing, touching, even arousing me in cabs, restaurants, the park... She expressed interest in sex but we never went through with it. But tell me, how is it that you can get so close to someone physically and claim to have neither attraction nor feelings? I am still nursing my broken hea...

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How to say 'I love you' first (without freaking out your partner)

Dear Lauren,

So I told my boyfriend I loved him for the first time and he got really weird after that. Why does he think that saying I love you means "Lets get married" and a major commitment? Not simply, I love you, which is how I meant it.

-Chiara

Asking the RIGHT question

Hi Chiara! Great question.In fact, I love it! You know why?

Most people ask the question, “When should you say I love you in a relationship?” Or even, “Who should say I lo...

RELATIONSHIP ADVICE

Why men pull away (and how to get him back!)

Why did he pull away and how do I get him back?
This is THE most common question I get asked. And no wonder! For women who are single and dating to women who have been married for decades, this remains one of the biggest mysteries and sources of stress in a relationship.

But it doesn’t have to! I’d like to help.

Fill out this quick survey so I can serve you in the most effective way.

With love, Lauren

Fill out my online form. var x1m2nbmv1a5xv4r;(func...

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Your guide to relationships without 'labels'

Hey Lauren,

I've been involved with someone for about 6 months and when I say involved we are not boyfriend/girlfriend but we spend a good amount of time together and we are having sex. She's a full time student and doesn’t have a lot of free time. I'm just working right now so I have more free time than her. Lately, with finals coming up and school being crucial right now, I haven't seen her in almost 3 weeks. I'm fine with time apart, totally fine, as long as I k...

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Why men don't give reassurance (and how to get some in 3 easy steps!)

Dear Lauren,

When my boyfriend and I get into a fight he remains withdrawn for the rest of the day and isn’t as affectionate as he usually is. I can’t help but worry I’ve ruined things and he’s having doubts about us.

I feel desperate for reassurance that we’ll be okay.I ask him to say something nice to make me feel better. He tells me he loves me and we’ll be fine, but can I trust that what he’s saying is truly how he feels? He still seems so ...

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What 'Leave me alone' ACTUALLY means in a relationship.


“Leave me alone!” doesn’t mean
what you think it means.
When it comes to a man, the words “Leave me alone,” mean one thing only. Leave him the heck alone or face the fire-breathing dragon.

No mystery.

No intrigue.

No dance steps.

It means exactly what it says.

But when it comes to a woman, this phrase is slightly more nuanced and can mean more than one thing.

(It’s not fair but it’s true.)

This leaves most...

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Do you ever feel needy? Your problem might be the solution.

Dear Lauren,

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 ½ years. Everything is great until he pulls away, he either wants to be alone or he wants to spend time with his friends. Every time he pulls away, I get super needy. I tell him I need him to stay home, I need him to listen to me, I need his attention.

I know I should let him to go out and be a “cool” girlfriend but I can’t help it. I just go into demanding crying mode and I need him to care more. He gets...

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DATING ADVICE

3 Secrets to Stop Attracting Mr. Wrong

Dear Lauren,

For a long time now, I have been seeing a man that only wants sex from me. This seems to be a pattern for me. Can a woman do something unconsciously to attract this type of man even though she wants a whole life relationship?

-Kate

Dear Kate,

Absolutely she can! And I’ll tell you how. But first I want to teach you the formula to break A pattern, before we dive in to breaking YOUR pattern.

Step #1: See through the excuses and justifications and acknowle...

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How to deal with a jealous boyfriend

*This blog was originally posted in February 2014. It has been edited and updated.*

Dear Lauren,
Two months into my relationship, my boyfriend looked through all my text messages while I was sleeping. He found an old one from my ex. Three months later he went through all my emails and found a few from male friends. I have an extremely suspicious boyfriend.I have explained everything to him but he calls me deceitful, a liar, and untrustworthy.

I was outside at a party with a bunch of ...

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Hot and cold? How to tell if he has REAL feelings for you.

Dear Lauren,

I’ve been sorta seeing this guy for awhile. I told him at the beginning that I was not ready for a relationship. His response was fine, that he was willing to wait. So we continue casually talking, having lunch dates, and occasionally hooking up.

Now I feel ready to be in a relationship and I’m waiting for him to actively pursue me with romantic dates, phone calls and flowers. The problem is that I’m not seeing this happening. He’s been very inconsi...



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